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This is a story of someone who realized literally that she has been performing the life for 34 years and that's okay. Right now I'm still in my head and it takes me few minutes to get into the flow and speak from my heart. So I'm just going to ramble until we get to the fucking juice. Now I act on my urges. When I feel like there's something that needs to be vomited out of me, I do it. Unless I don't, and that's when I feel this self-hate, self-rejection, resistance build up. So I might as well just fucking do it today and right now. I don't have any notes. I don't have any structure because that's what I enjoy. I allow life to speak through me as it wants to, because I believe that I am one with the unseen and seen, with the awareness and the matter. And it all works for me, for you, for everyone, in the greater good, and all is well. And so if I don't feel like having a structure, I do not resist it, I go with it. And that's exactly the point of the whole story that I'm about to share. Hi, my name is Martina, and this is my story. I believe stories and person everybody has a story worth sharing, and especially when you are here to create something that allows others to live freely as well. This is the journey of Martina, this body, in this world, in this 3D world, that moved from enormous self-rejection and self-resistance, and therefore resistance of everything around her, but covered by performance, shape-shifting, and being someone for everyone except for herself, and moving through a lot of transformation and pain and chaos and mess to radical self-acceptance. And that's not a sad shit. Okay, I'm not here to speak from the mountaintop. I'm sharing as I go through it because it's a process, it's a process that I live daily that I have to remind myself that I have to be aware of in order to survive. I think it's best to say from the beginning something that really changed my life like recently, and that is the suicide of my father on the 17th November 2025, eight months ago or nine. His resistance to life and maybe self-rejection led him to rejecting life completely until he decided to end it. So this for me I realized is really a survival strategy. Yes, it is a content. Yes, it is a share, it is something that I share for you. But honestly, mostly I do this for myself. Speaking brings me peace, speaking brings me processing and regulation that I so desperately have been searching for in places where you cannot find it. Courses, meditation, energy healing, coaches, therapists. It doesn't live outside of you. While all of these crutches are there to help you, they're part of your journey and the process. They are not the answer. You are the answer. And as a side story, I'm gonna say that I go through these periods of big resistance, big acceptance. It lasts for weeks, then it turns into acceptance. That's when I'm able to speak about it. And right now I feel like I entered that radical self-acceptance period, so might as well fucking use it. And so to start, I was born in Slovakia, Banska Bistrica, a beautiful mountain town town. I was born to my mom and my dad. I was the third child of my dad with three different women, and my mom who never ever wanted kids, loved my dad so much that they were like, Oh, what the hell? What the hell? Let's have a child. And this was born. Now, already as I was in the womb, the doctor said that I am twins because I was so huge. I'm 185 centimeters, okay? I'm like a giant, and I wear this hair to make myself even taller. No, just kidding. It just helps me feel cooler in the heat that I live in in Vietnam currently. And so, in like fifth month of my mom's pregnancy, the doctor said, I am twins. And she started crying, and she was so stressed, and she was like, No, twins! How am I gonna survive that? I wonder if that's already the rejection towards who I was. Anyways, I was born, everything was great, and honestly, so many things were great, and it's all about the lenses that we look at our life at, right? Until I was 28, I thought my life is perfect. Then it started to crumble. Well, I was born, all was great, and then at the age of three, I went to kindergarten, and the teacher called my mom that something's not right with Martina. So they sent me to a psychiatrist. I did this exam, personality test, all of these things. They examined me, like what's wrong with her? Why is she not like other kids already? Yeah, what's wrong with her? The sentence I asked myself a gazillion of times. And they found out that my brain is developed two years ahead of other kids. I can read, I can tie my shoelaces, I can do most of the things that they're learning, the other kids. And so they realized that they need to give me like leadership roles or managerial position as a three-year-old. So I started reading the books to the kids. I started to help them tie their shoes. I don't remember this, but my mom told me, and it's just really hilarious because it just started so early. And so that was like the first experience where I guess somewhere in Little Martina, I was like, well, I'm different, and they needed to check what's wrong with me. Okay. From early age, my mom had so much energy. So I started as a gymnast, I started to go for dance classes, and at like four-year-old, I started to ski. Little Martina started to do like the competitive skiing. And then at the age of six, I started to play tennis because my friend at school was playing it. I'm like, Mama, I want to try tennis, and I did. Turns out I was good at it, and so I started to go to tournaments and I was playing well, but something strange at that point started to happen. The rage and anger in me when I was losing, super competitive. I wanted to win in everything, I wanted to be the best, naturally. Or is it naturally? I don't know. I started to swear. Imagine 12-year-old Martina swearing, fuck bitch, shit, on a tennis court, you know, breaking rockets or like just pounding them on the floor on the clay. And my my parents were so disappointed. They're like, what are you doing? They sent me to another psychologist. Like, you need to get a hold of your emotions. Well, again, I learned, okay, me feeling what I'm feeling is obviously not beneficial for anyone. They even took my MP3 player because I was listening to this uh Slovak grab contrapact. If you are Slovak, then you know. And they swear a lot. So they thought, oh, that's why. Well, anyways, I had no music for like a year. And then it continued at 14. My best friend at school started to rumor, traditional slut shaming. I don't know why. We were like best, best friends. And everybody stopped speaking to me. Now I'm just telling you these little nuggets that I realized were pivoting for the lens that I started to look at myself with, okay? The self-rejection, really, really huge self-resistance, self-hate, even. And you'll see why. And I had no friends in the ninth grade. It was also because I was playing tennis over the summer and everybody bonded, you know, when they're on break, like everybody hangs out, but I was on a tennis court and traveling Slovakia for the tournaments. So I was really different, you know. I never had like a group of friends because I was growing up with sports. And the ninth grade started, I was 14. I was like, dude, I'm alone. This sucks. So I was like, well, I need to find new friends. And I think that's where my strategy of shape-shifting and adjusting to the circumstances and to the other people so that I fit, so that I belong, so that I find safety outside of me started. And that's when I started drinking. I started smoking weed, and I started to be really rebellious. I had really big fights with my mom until recently. Even my mom called me slut, like at 16. She's been staring, dude, like this is a movie. I really think this will be on Netflix one day, but like maybe this is my Netflix, right? Martina Flicks. So yeah, I started to hang out with these kind of people, and I felt like I belonged. I felt safe. I was like, okay. And also, I met my very first boyfriend, who was five years older. And there was this one moment that really taught me what I'm doing essentially now, publicly and right now in this video. Speak truth, just authentically express myself, even though it was never allowed or accepted in the world until now, because the world is a reflection of you, anyways. My parents went for a cinema night, right? They went to the movies, and I invited that boyfriend after like three weeks of dating into our apartment, and he had this really trippy hoodie, and I was like, Can I try it on? He's like, Yeah, here you go. And we went to my parents' bedroom because they had like a mirror closet. So I wanted to see myself. Dude, the moment we were there, I'm like, oh, that's a nice hoodie. My parents arrived. They came home early. So imagine 14-year-old girl, 19-year-old guy, boy, come out of the bedroom. I'm wearing his hoodie, and the parents are like, what the fuck? And I'm like, no, it's not what it looks like. It's not what we didn't do anything. I'm sorry. They sent him home, and they said that we're done. That they do not allow me to hang out with older boy, especially when we come out of the bedroom. This is not what is good for me. And it was really painful. I was really hurt. I realized at that point that lying or hiding something doesn't work. And basically, I think that's when this whole journey started forming for me while the other one was unfolding as well. The self-rejection started heavily. I started to be really, really angry at my mom. And my dad too, honestly. I didn't know where to place this feeling of anger, this feeling of frustration with myself. Why am I not loved? Why am I not allowed to do things I want to? Why am I always rejected? Why do I feel like shit when I don't win, when I lose? Why I was trying to prove to myself that I am worth existing. That's where it got. Then I went to the US as an exchange student. I was 17. By the way, I kept dating, I kept dating that boyfriend until I started to speak online in this chat room with my current boyfriend at the age of 16 or 15. We were, you know, flirting and stuff. And my first boyfriend found it, and he essentially broke up with me because it was like a cheating, online cheating. Funnily enough, the guy I was cheating with, I am now with for six years, Tomas. But that's for another story, or maybe later. I don't know where it is going. But whatever. I just want to really spill it out because it feels really good. And so at the age of 17, I packed my bags and my parents sent me for one year to the US as an exchange student to do my third year of high school there. Honestly, it was a big relief because she was really like messy at home. So my mom said that she didn't even miss me for that year. I didn't even miss her either. And so I went there. Dude, this family chose me because their great-greatparents were from Czechoslovakia, right? I was from Slovakia. That's how the country was before. And they were like, yeah, it's gonna be a great fit. But they had no idea who I am. I wrote a whole letter about who I am, what I love to do. They completely dismissed it. They just chose me because where I was from, not for who I was, and that created so much tension. They were really proper Christian, not proper Christian, but like really strict about like reading Bible every Sunday, all of that thing. And the moment they realized who I am, that I'm 17, and their daughter is well, is 17, and the differences between us, the whole thing started. The host sister and the host cousin started to take my birth control pills, and they put it in the trash, and they said that the dog ate it. And all of this drama started. And the truth is, I broke all the rules like everybody else. I was drinking in Hawaii on Waikiki Beach with my friends. I would smoke weed, I would just, you know, I had a boyfriend, Brazilian guy, we would do all the adult shit. And everybody was doing it, but their families did not reject it. They were like, yeah, like, dude, have fun. You're in the US, you're 17, live life, you're a child, experience it. But this family took it, my host family took it as a means to an end or a reason to send me back, to kick me out of the US and send me back home as a punishment. But they didn't they didn't do it with love. They chose to do it in a way which was really painful. They took all of my phones so that I can't contact anyone. My brother would call, like what's happening, and they would hang up on him. They gave me 60 seconds to inform my mom that I'm leaving US early. That's it. I remember I was on the computer and was like really shaking and crying. I felt so much sadness and fear as a 17-year-old being completely slapped in the face by the family that you thought you can trust or that are there to take care of you. And I was like, Mom, I'm so sorry. I have to buy a flight ticket, I have to go home, I fucked up. And she was like, What, what? And the mother was with the mouse, holding the mouse, the host mother, and like 60, 59. She was counting down the time for me to inform my real parents at home, not knowing anything. Because like it was not like before, there was no WhatsApp, no this kind of stuff. So this is what I did. They closed me in a room, they took me to the high school where I was attending in the middle of a class so that I don't see anyone and I don't have a chance to say goodbye to my friends after seven months of being with them every day, so that I emptied my locker room and they said I cannot see anyone and I cannot speak to anyone and I cannot say goodbye to anyone because their son was a policeman and they said if I try, they will involve police in all of this because I was like underage drinking, right? I don't care, I'm just gonna say it. And I spent four days crying, feeling like I'm the worst person in the world. So rejected. Even my chest hurts right now as I'm speaking about it. And all I could do is write goodbye letters to everyone. They even took me to the post office to send some of my clothes through post because it was too much baggage, right, to take with me in the plane. And my boyfriend, I don't know how we communicated at that point, he came to the post office and the host father came and slapped the door in his face. He's like, No, you're not saying goodbye to Martina. It was really tough. It was really a pivotal moment for me because again I learned that I'm just not okay. Something's wrong with me. I'm I'm not allowed to be as I am, because then it's punished. Okay, moving on. Things like this started to happen, and they've been a threat of my whole life. You know? Even I moved to Dubai eventually, where I was promised that I would become a store manager once I finished my university online that I chose to so that I can go to Dubai to work in a Hollister store. Well, after one year, they said, Martina, you're not a manager material. You're having fun, you're making videos when you're supposed to work, you're too loud, you're too fun, you're not taking shit seriously. You cannot be a manager. And I'm like, fuck. This is why I came and I was rejected, thanks. So I resigned. I created a portfolio and I started to do modeling and hostessing jobs that essentially eventually started to be my happiest years, but also the last years that I was using performance as a survival mechanism to make myself mean something. Because throughout all of these years, until age of 28, I realized okay, if I am a high achiever, if I became excellent if everything, if I have straight Ace, if I'm skinny, if I'm blonde, if I'm beautiful, if I'm funny, if I'm entertaining everyone, people love me and I am accepted, and I get whatever I want. And I was really aware of it. So I was using all of this. I was using social media to prove my worth. I would post selfies every day. Look how beautiful I am. My most favorite part of the day was when I woke up. I had cigarette and coffee, put makeup on, and I was like, yes, this is me now. I was putting dress and outfit of the Martina that was ready to perform for the world. Before that, I hated myself without makeup on. I was like, oh. And then once I put myself into the image that I learned is acceptable and admired on social media, in real life, at work, in relationships. I was like, yeah, ready to rock and roll. I was not able to take days off because I was feeding off of the external validation. I was getting it inside of my vein like a heroin. And I was like, oh my God, I'm so amazing. I'm so beautiful. Everybody loves me. Oh, how amazing this life is. It's almost like I created this pink cotton candy around me, which didn't allow me to see the truth because it was not my time yet. Everybody's life has an evolution story, it's a hero journey, essentially, right? You go, go, go, you learn what you're supposed to, and then and you're like, what the fuck? This wasn't real. Oh my god, what is happening? What is life? Then you're like kind of lost, like Neo, when he takes the red pill, and then you are just sent into the outer space, and you have to go through all of these, you know, like uh powerful whatever shaking of the spaceship, and then you're like, okay, what is this? They call it awakening, they call it whatever, midlife, midnight, midnight crisis, midlife crisis. For me, this happened in 2020. And already, I want to say, in 2018, my dad, and this is a huge part of it. In 2018, my dad was diagnosed with mental illness. This was, I really didn't see it as a big deal at that point, with all the illusions that I try to overlook, only focusing on what I look like, who loves me, how many likes I have on Instagram. Classic, right? And he was feeding me. I was okay, I was happy. I thought I was happy, I was grateful. But already I started questioning everything because I received a phone call in December 2017 that my dad started was given pills by psychiatrists. And I knew that that's it. I knew that this is going to change everyone's life, and it did. In the same time, I somehow started to be interested in vlogging. I always loved taking pictures, making videos. At that point, I was working as a hostess for Louis Vuitton. They had a time capsule installation in the middle of the Dubai mall, and I would like go through with people. I would explain to them the evolution of the brand and how it started, how it is now, and then essentially they would have more information, get connected, and buy something. These were my jobs in Dubai. It was amazing. Got me to places I never thought was possible. I was working at the top of Bush Khalifa, Burj Al-Arab, Palm Jumeirah, I mean Palm Island. Like I got to places that people had to work for years to get into. And I was there, enjoying my life, speaking to people. It was a really amazing time. And I was working in this installation. And at that point, every lunch break, I would watch videos of Casey Naystad. This was like 2018, 2017. He was huge, he was just starting, and the vlogging started to be booming on YouTube. And I just loved it. And as I'm standing there, I see Casey Naystad walking towards me. And I'm like, what? And he came to me and he's like, Um, do you know where's the Apple store? I think I broke my phone. I need a new one. And I'm like, oh my god, you're Casey Naystad. I stopped, I forgot how to speak English, I forgot who I am, I was completely starstruck. And I'm like, uh, Apple Store, I don't know, but oh my god, you're Casey Naystad. I watched your video one hour ago while eating my lunch, and he's like, Oh, that's so great! Oh my god, and we took a picture, whatever, and he left. Now, later on, I realized that there's a film festival in Dubai, and all the vloggers were invited. And these two young vloggers came later that day and we started speaking, and they were like 18 and 20, and they're like, Hey, come to our house, we can hang out, you know. I'm like, okay, and I went with my previous friend who was working there with me. We went there and I told them how I want to do vlogging, and they're like, dude, start, do it, just fuck it, buy a camera, let's go together. So we went together to buy some Canon S9, whatever camera, and I started. I started vlogging, and I made like seven vlogs, you know, because I really saw my life as fucking amazing. I was I was living in that illusion, right? I started to film the behind the scenes of Dubai life. I already felt like uncovering the reality from the illusion, but I didn't know it. I did, I wasn't really aware that that's what I'm doing. I was just doing what I felt like. That's when I started to kind of express myself. And it took a few months. I did it. Even in my third vlog, I was I filmed with this vlogging star from Slovakia. He came over to Dubai. I asked him to have lunch. It got many, many thousand, 30,000, 100,000 views. It was really successful. Eventually, this guy found me and he put me into the a creative agency in Dubai where I learned everything about social media, editing, filming, branding. And then later I was able to use it for my multi-million dollar business that I created with my boyfriend a few years later. Everything is exactly how it's supposed to be. The story develops beautifully. But to go back there, I started to do it. And in the middle of these scenes that I would film on the events and beautiful places around United Arab Emirates, I would say something to the camera. And something happened. I felt like I love to do it, but I felt like I'm ugly. I would take 40 scenes to say one sentence. I felt so much self-judgment, resistance towards what I was saying, how I was saying it, what others would say, that I quit. The YouTube channel was called What Is Life, which is exactly what I went back to this year and started my podcast, What is Life with Martina. Now, this was a pivotal moment because that is when I discovered what I love doing. But it came with the baggage that I needed to slowly chip off. Because I was again using the self-rejection, and there was this fight, right? We have two wolves that depends what which one we feed, that win, that one wins. So I was between self-expression, speaking, expressing myself through video and speech, and on the other hand, self-rejection. I'm ugly, I'm doing it wrong. Self-judgment, resistance. And essentially I quit. And then 2020 came. Corona, the world stopped, events, modeling, everything stopped, and I had nothing to do. So I went home. I went home to Slovakia, and I was like, yeah, I'm just gonna wait out the summer until all of this madness ends, and I'll go back to what I'm doing in Dubai. And that was the last time I was in Dubai. I came home, and within 10 days, everything changed. After 12 years of not speaking to that boyfriend who was the reason of the breakup with my first love when I was 16, I was now 28, and after 12 years, without contact with him, we reconnected and we fell in love all over again. And this time we were ready. But we had no idea what we were ready for. The transformation, the journey from resistance to acceptance to freedom that we chose each other to go through together is just next level. We met, and within nine days we went for a road trip to Croatia, and we realized this is how we want to live island life, freedom, sun, ocean. I was still I was living in Dubai for six years, so that was something I knew, but this was different. It was real nature, it was greenery. We lived on uh motorbikes. It was just like it felt so slow and so good and so true. And so we decided already on a road trip back from Croatia to Slovakia, we started to think how we can get there. And we were like, yeah, we're ready to create business together. Each of us tried to create businesses like separately before. But now, when a boy and a girl, masculine and feminine structure and creation connect, they create new life and we created new business. And it was successful from day one. It was crazy, it was with the biggest flow, we had fun creating it, and so not only our relationship, but also our business, Magnetic Couples Bracelet, which is now a multi-million dollar company, started to be the two foundations of the support that we needed for each of us. And I'm gonna speak about myself because this is my story. I tend to do this, I tend to connect us into one entity because it's so important for me in life. Like it brought so much lesson, so much learning, so so much freedom and resistance and fights and mirror this is it. My boyfriend Tomas and the business allowed me to crumble this illusion that I had my whole life, that I tried to cover the truth with the performance, the looks, the amazing life, the money, the size of my body, the funniness, all of that. It started to be really loud because it all started to crumble one by one. We moved to Bali together. We started to fight every single day because I was fighting myself. The third month of our relationship. Well, I just want to say two months before we met, I stopped birth control, which is something that I was taking from the age of 15. And so that was also part of this illusion. It was basically what birth control does, it changes your hormones, and your true self is kind of suppressed. Your emotions are completely not free, and so you don't actually feel that much, right? It was all part of this beautiful journey. Again, it was suppressing, rejecting, resisting who I really was inside. It was like again that little helper. But all of this was ready to go. And so within like third month, yes, our business was doing amazing, but I started to crumble. And while my dad was in and out of psychiatry, it was already third year of his illness, and it was in the back of my head. I wasn't really seeing it that much. Almost as I was not choosing to see it. I was trying to focus on what's good, the illusion that kept me safe, because this was something that was unsure, it was bringing pain. And so I started to have all of these emotions, but nobody taught me how to deal with it. And so this feeling of something's wrong with me. I'm horrible, I'm a bad person, I'm not the fun kid anymore, I'm not the entertainer anymore. What if my boyfriend will see who I really am? Is this who I really am? All of these thoughts were like ah in my head. And we started to fight because I was projecting it on him. I started to blame him for all of that. Poor guy didn't fight with any of his girlfriends before. That's that's his journey. And I was like, why the fuck do we need to fight? And I'm like, I don't know, blah blah blah. So this relationship felt very intense because we were loving each other so much, we were creating successful business, we were just living our dream on the outside, but inside it was like somebody crushes a puzzle frame and it's all chaos suddenly, and you don't know what the fuck you're doing. What's happening? Mess, pain, frustration, sadness, grief all at once. Now I'm not even mentioning that I realize I have two cases against me in Dubai because of my former business partner who did some fraud and put it on me because I gave him the power of attorney, and now it's all on me, so I can't even go back to Dubai. Another, another fucking from life. But it's all happening for me, I know it. So now I can laugh about it. That's why I can say this story. So this business gave us freedom and time. The relationship gave us the mirror, the ground of slowly getting to know day by day, one step in front of the other, who the fuck we really are and who the fuck I really am inside. Something I wasn't ready to see. And because this was happening, we left to Bali, and suddenly I started to lose everything, all the external validation that I was using as my safety net. Suddenly I had no friends around me. I was just with my boyfriend. I was living completely opposite life than in Dubai. So I was meeting a thousand people per day. Now I was meeting nobody. My online store is online. I was behind a laptop, not meeting people. I started to have acne. My beauty, my face that I was so attached to became, I don't want to judge it as hideous, but to me it was hideous. I started to hide. I was I felt so ugly. In the same time, I started gaining weight, I gained like 10 kg. Body grown. First three years, the business was doing amazing. Now it's like at 4.something million dollars. But uh the last three years, it's been fight because we started to I started to attach my worth to money. I had no more beauty, I had no more beautiful face, I had no more skinny body. So I was like, oh my god, what can I attach myself to? Money. But I'm here to get rid of this illusion. You're here to get rid of the illusion. We're here to disillusion this life and see what's real. That's real freedom. And so the money was taken away as well. And the last drop of this whole process was last year, November 17, 2025. My father took his life. He jumped out of the room of our of my childhood home, and at that point I was living in Slovakia 120 meters from him, from our home. The same neighborhood. I was in a house. They were at home. And that was it. That was it. I have lost every single point of safety and identity that I believed makes me meek, makes me worthy, valuable, and I was pushed into corner to finally accept what is. This was the day when I let go. This was the day when I realized that there's no point in resisting anymore. I physically could not, I physically could not change, I could not anymore manipulate life. And I broke down completely. And here I am. That I have to also mention one thing. Another thing I attached to, and something very important happened in 2021 where I met this couple of energy healers that I attached to. I learned all kinds of white magic, self-energy healing, speaking to God, connecting to the vortex, healing things, you know. I wouldn't have to go to the doctor, I wouldn't have to go to the dentist because I was healing every part of my body with mind, which is great. But it's just part of the evolution that we go through because if it's done from resistance, and I was using it from self-hate, I was using it as a means to fix myself because I felt like I'm so broken, something's so wrong with me. That in the daily hours of hours of journaling and healing and meditation, I was even teaching others how to do it. And that's okay because that's part of it. It's part of the journey. We are all meeting each other in order to take each other out of this whole illusion, right? But this is what I was using it for. I did all kinds of courses and manifestation shit and everything that many people right now see as a solution to everything. Well, my father's death took me one step further, and it was the day when I stopped doing all of it. It was the day when I stopped resisting, or where the season of my life that is teaching me until this day, that if you do things from self-hate, if you believe you're broken, if you reject who you are, it's still just resistance, and it has really no results. And my dad showed me what can happen when you believe this illusion, when you do not allow yourself to free your mind from the shackles of self-rejection and resistance towards life circumstances. He gave me a second chance in life. And I believe that um we are all just one awareness, and we are 50-50 part, 50-50 of our parents, and I am 50% him. And I know his awareness, his soul lives through me now. And I know he would want me to be kinder to myself and to learn from his lessons that I deserve to exist as I am, and I am allowed to be who I am. And that's part also why I'm doing this. Why I'm taking action the fuck it action that I call. And why every day I choose to not believe what my mind is telling me, how a piece of shit I am, how unworthy I am, how you haven't done anything, so why do you even breathe? Really abusive thoughts, and I know that this is given to us by our ancestors, and we are here to break that cycle, and I'm breaking this with saying my story, and with finally speaking the truth, and putting myself in front of public and turning shame into freedom and so when this happened, we were still in Slovakia, we moved there on this intuitive nudge. We lived in Bali for four years, and I felt like it's time to go home. I didn't know why, and then I learned why, because I spent the last one and a half years with my dad every day. Last years of his life. And I never spent that much time with him since I was a child. And then after a few months, I was like, yes, I feel this is complete, and we moved here to Vietnam. And now we are here, and the moment we arrived, our business started to crumble. And I found myself, I got sick, I got food poisoning, I ended up in hospital. It was two two months ago, three months ago, and there was nothing left. There was nothing left to attach myself, my self-worth to. That's when I found that this gives me freedom. So I started making videos. My boyfriend told me, make videos for yourself. And I did our business almost bankrupted. I was sick, I felt horrible. And I started to talk about it to myself on camera every day without posting it anywhere. Then I started to post it on stories on Instagram, slowly, slowly pushing myself to the limit, opening the door to what I always wanted to do. But the self-judgment, inner critique, self-rejection, self-hate, the resistance towards what I look like, who I really am, shame for how I lost everything I had before that I thought that was me. So much shame didn't allow me to do it. But I started to be like, fuck it, I I have to do this without really having a reason to. And I started to become more safe in not knowing shit. I don't know what I'm doing right now, but I'm doing it because it feels good, it feels like life is speaking through me. That's all I know. And I started posting three minute videos on my Instagram, just speaking about like whatever, and then I realized like fuck, I don't wanna be limited by time, I don't want to be limited by three minutes. And when I quit in 2018, my YouTube channel, What is Life, because I rejected who I was, I renewed, and that's the beauty of life. I created podcast What is Life. And for years I tried to make this with my boyfriend Tomash as a part of Magnetic Couples Braceless business to support marketing and all of that, and all of this wanted to be born through me, but I was always attaching myself to something outside of me to support me, to be me. But all of that couldn't work because I wouldn't learn that I am enough as I am, that my gift, that my genius, that my energy is enough alone. And here I am. And the funny part is that when I created it alone, my boyfriend joined. He's like, When are we gonna record? And now there's like 10 episodes. Only first one is me alone, and all the nine of them is me and Tomas, my boyfriend, speaking about this journey together. Because when you go through it as an individual, it shows up in every part of your life, including the relationship. And it's gonna create tension because if you're in a war with yourself, you reflect it and you project it into your boyfriend, your relationship, you blame everything. Everything around you until you own it. And it creates so much tension, so much frustration, so many fights that it becomes the mirror to your own war. And if you're strong enough, if the love is really powerful and the connection is the foundation for this evolution, like me and Tomas's love is and has been for six years, 24-7, all around the world, then it makes you such a strong team. And you'll allow you two stay together to the discomfort and rise as a couple, individually and as a couple, because it's all one, it's all happening. Maybe this is what I'm saying, it's probably happening in the whole world. And when I started to make this podcast, I realized I want a home, I want a place where I can connect to people who go through the same shit. Because I tell you something, I thought for years that I have to be a coach and I have to be a healer in order to have impact, to be powerful, to have value, to be a worthy member of the society, to teach people, to show people that I made it and teach them that they can do it too. This is how. But it doesn't work. It never works. It works for you. Whatever everyone's selling, it works for them. And I'm like, what can I create where I can be myself and practice this in real time with the people who want to do it the same? Not where I preach from the mountaintop, but where I share my process, where I'm honestly processing in real time the current resistance that I'm going through and transforming it, alchemizing it, the shame into truth, into acceptance, and from that acceptance, the inner freedom that allows you to take action and play and create and live your life based on your own set of unique stories, life message, and processes and evolution and your song you're here to sing, your signature, personality, or your energy, your frequency is only one. It's a unique superpower that you have. But they can't anymore because we are all here to learn the truth of who we are, to understand, to remember who we are. We are God, we're everything, we are love. And so I created the fuck it club a few weeks after I created the podcast. And I didn't advertise it anywhere for two months. A few people joined. Somehow, I don't even know how. I think there was some ad from the school, which is the platform on which this uh community exists. Out of nowhere, there was people. I was like, fuck now, I have to show up. So I started making videos, we have weekly calls, and it's I'm probably posting this on the Fakit Club as well. So hi guys, and thank you for being here. And it got me here. Today is uh August 1st, 2026, and I thought my life would be completely different. My mind creating an illusion that couldn't happen because I would still attach myself to it. I thought I would be a billionaire, having a village, million businesses, making billions of money, being free. But I thought that all this would come from these things that I told myself I'm gonna have them. And of course, if I had them, I would still not learn this. I would still not learn that I am enough. So life didn't give it to me. Instead, it gave me nothing. So all I left was with was me. My emotions, my thoughts, my feelings, my sicknesses, my resistance, swimming in it, crying every day, gaining weight, getting acne from all the self-hate, self-rejection, inflaming myself, being bloated all the time, being angry so that I reach the bottom and find what I'm here for. And it is speaking, it's being permission slip for you. Because I don't give a fuck, and I just say shit as it is, and I know that self-hate as a motivation to transform your life will never work. Self-acceptance is, and I know that in the past I would burn out from all this effort to fix myself. I created this business with my boyfriend, burning out every three months, trying to post like the relationship between me and social media has been really one that has been also really transforming me because I would exhaust myself. I would put all of these rules on the content that I create. But I don't think I create content anymore. I create permission slip for you to be who the fuck you are through everything that I do. Magnetic couples bracelets is not a bracelets online store. It is selling bracelets, but what it's actually doing, we share what is behind the closed door, the messy, the uncomfortable, the chaotic, painful parts of relationships that nobody talks about, to normalize them, to know they are necessary in this dualistic 3D world where we learn through these extremes, through this duality, through the polarity, paradoxes. And I share about it, I talk about it in our posts, so that you know it's part of it, it's part of love, of relationship, but you're always connected together with the magnets. It's your anchor that always, when your mind forgets, your true self remembers okay, I chose this person and I choose that person, and I choose to stay through this discomfort because we are on our journey of evolution together. And this person, no matter how much I project my shit on that person, no matter how much I feel like I hate him at times, that person is my gift. And I can learn from him or her, and I can use it to my advantage and through self-acceptance and accepting that person without trying to change them, because there's nothing to change about anything and anyone and any circumstance in your life through that acceptance that it's teaching you, fight by fight, argument through argument, breakup through breakup, is the key of everything. So that's what Magnetic Couples bracelets sell. Then what is life with Martina and apparently Tomas? The podcast. It's not a podcast about self-improvement and self whatever healing. No. It's again two people sharing the ugly, the messy parts of relationship on camera to show you that life is all of it. What is life? Life is all of it, and that's what we speak about. So that you stop judging the conflict and the bad things and the negative emotions and all these things that make you feel like this person is not for you, and the relationship is not for you. So that stop you that you stop judging it and allow it, you bungee jump into that shit, and through that acceptance, you again find the gold presence and your worth and love, true unconditional love based on acceptance and no conditions, you do not put conditions on that person. So that's what the podcast is about. And then this community or the community, the fuck it club, is the home of all of this. It's where we finally say fuck it to all the illusions that we think we need in order to take action, where we stop hating ourselves through speaking about it, through sharing the shame. When shame is shared, it turns into freedom. And that's what the fuck it club is. I thought it was fuck it, let's go. That was my previous mindset that burned me out, that brought me to exhaustion because I thought I have to push and force so that I prove that I'm worthy of living, but no, it's opposite. So the fuck it is not let's fucking go. It's fuck it. I accept who I am. Fuck all of the illusions, fuck all the resistance, but with love. And from that place of okay, this is what it is right now. You find that freedom, you find the play, you find the creativity, you unlock that thing that you were always searching for outside of you. And that's what this community is about. I post their weekly videos about my realizations, about the breakdowns and breakthroughs and the process. I'm in it. I'm not here to be your coach, I'm not here to be your teacher, I'm here to be your mirror, to be your reflection, to be the oh, you too? Oh my god, she did not just say that. But not for the shock marketing strategy. No, it's because it literally allows me to accept myself and to survive. This gives me life. I'm here sitting for one hour, I don't even know how, and I'm just listening to my voice. I suddenly become the awareness that watches this all. I regulate myself and I feel alive when I do this. And I've been fighting it for years because I was judging it, I was resisting it, I was rejecting all parts of myself, and I was trying to do everything else to find this. And I found it here in front of this phone that is completely broken because I don't use cover. So it's like looks like you know, nobody would ever steal it because it looks like it belongs to a homeless person. Oh my god, there's like an ant going over the lens. And so, yeah, and today I was having coffee and I realized, dude, it's all about the same thing with all of my three creations Magnetic Couples bracelets, what is life, and the fuck it club. It's all the same. It's all the fucking permission slip to be okay with your shit, and through that acceptance, blah blah blah. I say it all the time. You get it. You free yourself, and when you're free, you're like, oh what the hell, I can do whatever I want. But again, it's not like a straight line. I think it's you see, this whole thing. I came here to sit down for my story, to say my story, and I think I did. I don't even remember what I said anymore. But I'm enjoying it, and that's the point. You allow yourself to do what fulfills you, what you love, what feels good without the shoots. I should do this, I should look like this, I should be doing this. No, you're like, okay, this is the present moment, this is who I am. What do I feel like doing right now? Dance, okay, sleep, okay, make a video, okay. And I think that's freedom. Yeah. So this has been my story. This is the hero journey of Martina. 34 now. I have a long or not way in front of me. And it's a process, it's a daily, daily process. It's not something I'm done with. It will be forever happening, forever purifying myself from all this resistance and ego mind that is always not liking what is and wants everything different, including me, including circumstances, results, money situation, where we live, how we talk, blah blah whatever. And it will always bring me when I bange-jump into all of this and accept it, allow it, let life unfold the way it wants it through me, like this video is happening through my voice. I will keep getting to know the power of the present moment, the power of now, the power of acceptance, the power of just being. Everything is as is meant to be, all is well. We cannot speed up this process, we cannot force it, push it. Yesterday I was crying, today I woke up so clear. Why? I don't know. And I will never know. So that's my story. Thank you for listening, watching. I'm going to shake my body out now because it was a lot. But I feel really good kind of putting into timeline and allowing. Allowing. You know, there's one more thing. Last thing. 2023, we lived, we were living in a house in Madawi. Madewi is like a surfer village in Bali, northwest Bali. And we were taking care of the house of this couple from Hawaii. It was a huge American house on the beach, we would surf every day. And I was doing yoga there one day. And I was really feeling sad, resisting, frustrated. And as I was doing yoga because I believed that yoga is important in order to feel peace. I was not doing it because I was enjoying it. Like everything. I was always doing something for something. I suddenly hear this voice telling me, trust, allow, surrender. Almost as if me pushing myself to do all these kind of poses and feeling like I'm not flexible enough. Oh my god, I have to be more stretched. Oh, this is shit. I have to exercise more. It's not good enough. Almost like this voice was like, oh, trust, allow, surrender. And it kept being in my head for years, third year now, fourth year. And I think, but that that was basically the message, the core thing, strategy that my true self spoke to me, or the awareness or God or life wanted me to embody. And that was the moment when I'm like, oh, of how, how, how. So I started to do meditation courses, all of that that I spoke about, only to find out none of it worked. I'm still back where I'm at. And then the moment I let go of striving and chasing and seeking and pushing and forcing, I was able to surrender. And again, not from my own will, but from life and allowing life to be what it is. So, Magnetic Couples bracelets, what is life? And the fuck it club. Three things that basically do the same thing. Keep me alive, keep me happy, healthy, fulfilled, and give you permission slip to do the same. If you like it, join. If you're not ready, just watch the content that I'm posting. I love you either way, because I know you are me, and I mean we're just reflection of ourselves. We're here to play roles in this movie called Life for Each Other, and I accept it, I allow it, and I surrender to it. I hope it recorded all. This is my story. Thank you.