What is Life? With Martina & Tomash
What Is Life? is Martina talking about all the stuff we're supposed to keep quiet about β the messy emotions, the fuck-ups, the "am I the only one feeling this?" moments. Hi! I'm Martina. I feel like I've lived 330 lives in my 33 years of life, I've moved like 47 times in 6 different countries, I have a golden retriever named Buchta, and I co-built a multi-million dollar couples bracelets business with my boyfriend while simultaneously wondering if we were gonna break up every other week. Plot twist: I created this podcast to be MINE - my solo thing, my space. Episode 1 was just me, finally. Episode 2? Tomash, my boyfriend, crashes it. Every episode since he won't freaking leave! The guy who literally said "I don't do podcasts, do it aloneβ is now here. Every. Single. Time. And the universe is laughing because I wanted this for YEARS β us, together, talking. But it only happened when I stopped white-knuckling the dream and let that shit go. That's LIFE: giving you exactly what you want the second you stop being a control freak about it. I started this because I couldn't stop asking "what is life?" after my third breakdown, second country, and approximately 86 moments of thinking "there's something fundamentally wrong with me." There wasn't. I was just a human being having a human experience, which apparently includes: moving to different country every few years, dating the wrong people for the right reasons, building a business while having daily meltdowns, and learning that nothing you plan actually happens the way you plan it. This podcast is chaos. Sometimes solo, sometimes Tomash interrupts with his completely different memory of the same event (we literally live in 2 different relationships, I swear), sometimes our golden retriever Buchta snores so loud you'll think your audio is broken.
We record on balconies & streets in Vietnam, we disagree mid-episodes, we forget what we were talking about. I overshare like it's my job (it kind of is now). Don't expect Instagram highlight reel, no "5 steps to fix your life" - this is just two people figuring it out in real-time and saying it out loud. If you've ever felt too much, moved too fast, fucked up too hard, or wondered if everyone else got a manual you didn't β welcome home.
Grab a coffee. Buckle up. It's messyβ¦ Itβs LIFE!
What is Life? With Martina & Tomash
11. The Truth About Inner Freedom: Why Achieving Your Goals Still Leaves You Feeling Empty
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
How Tomash stopped resisting life and finally felt free without changing a single thing outside of him
This is Episode 11 of What Is Life, and oh my god guys.
This one hit different.
We recorded this on a random street in Nha Trang, Vietnam. No plan. A security guard showed up at some point. We didn't care. Because what came out of Tomash in this episode is something he's been carrying for TEN YEARS and I don't think even HE knew it was ready to come out. π
This time? He's talking, I'm listening. And honestly? I cried at some point.
WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT:
β¨ The Freedom Dream β For 10 years Tomash believed money = freedom. Warm weather = freedom. No morning alarm = freedom. He chased all of it. Got it. And STILL felt like something was off. Sound familiar?
β¨ Getting Everything You Wanted and Still Feeling Empty
Ocean view villa in Bali β
Business making real money β
No alarm clocks β
Total freedom to go wherever β
The love of your life by your side β
And then the fear started. The wanting more started. The "what if I lose all this" started. We talk about WHY this happens and it will make you look at your own goals very differently.
β¨ When the Chase Started Breaking Everything β Three years of pushing harder, trying more, doing everything right β and it just stopped working. The money got less. The stress got more. The resistance was everywhere. And they had no idea why. (Spoiler: I think you will.)
β¨ The Real Definition of Freedom β It's not the money. It's not the warm weather. It's not being able to fly home whenever you want. True freedom β as Tomash figured out after a decade β is being okay with what is. Not resisting where you are, what you have, who you are right now. THAT is freedom. And it cannot be bought.
β¨ Resistance Is the Opposite of Freedom β Everything you think you want might just be you running FROM something you don't want to feel. We break this down and I swear it will make you question at least one thing you're currently chasing.
β¨ The Bungee Jump β How to actually move through resistance instead of fighting it. You know when you bungee jump and you're justβ¦ flying and there is literally nothing you can do? That's the whole metaphor. Just bungee jump into the feeling. Let go. Stop trying to control the direction. That's it.
THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF:
- You've achieved something you really wanted and still felt weirdly empty after
- You feel like you're always chasing the next thing and it never actually feels like enough
- You think freedom is something you'll have once you have more money, more time, or live somewhere warmer
- You're going through a really hard time right now and you can't figure out why it's happening
- You're just tired of chasing and you want someone to tell you it's okay to stop
WHAT THIS EPISODE IS NOT:
β A motivational speech (we're not telling you to hustle harder, we're literally saying the opposite)
β Financial advice (we lost a lot of money figuring this out, so maybe don't take notes π)
β Short (Tomash talked A LOT this episode and it was honestly so beautiful I didn't want to cut him off)
β Polished (random street, Vietnam, security guard, sweaty, zero plan β the usual)
WHAT THIS EPISODE IS:
β
Tomash's most open episode yet β a decade of chasing, losing, and finally understanding, all in one conversation
β
A completely different way to think about freedom, money and what you're actually looking for
β
Proof that the thing you're chasing might not be the thing you actually need
β
Two people sitting on a street in Vietnam figuring out life out loud β with zero script and zero filter
β
The kind of episode you think about after you close the app
ABOUT US:
I'm Martina (34, asked the questions this time, cried a little listening to him, still talked more than I should have π). He's Tomash (36, had the whole episode to himself, surprised himself with what came out, STILL can't believe people actually listen). We're the couple behind Magnetic Couples Bracelets. We live in Vietnam. Together 24/7 for 6 years. We built a business, chased freedom, lost a lot of money trying to get more of it, and ended up on a random street in Vietnam finally understanding what freedom actually is. English is our second language. I swear when I'm excited. Buchta is our golden retriever and she wasn't with us for this one but we missed her the whole time.
JOIN THE FUCK IT CLUB π₯
If this episode resonated and you're done trying to fix yourself, heal yourself, improve yourself into someone more acceptable β this is for you.
The Fuck It Club is our community for people who are ready to stop self-improving and start actually living:
π https://www.skool.com/new-earth-couples-1744/about
Nothing's wrong with you. Never was.
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Magnetic Couples Bracelets: https://www.magneticcouplesbracelets.com/
LET'S CONNECT:
πΈ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/martinaandtomash/
Have a beautiful day or night, wherever you are. If you've ever felt like you're running toward something but can't figure out why you're still not happy when you get there β oh honey, this one is for you. π
P.S. β Freedom is not the money. Freedom is being okay without it. That took us about 10 years to figure out. You're welcome. π
P.P.S. β Tomash spilled his whole soul this episode and I was just sitting there like π₯Ή please go comment on YouTube and tell him you heard it. He genuinely still cannot believe anyone listens.
This is life. Chasing, losing, stopping, accepting. And somehow finding everything you needed right where you already were. π’
At that point, I realized this is freedom.
SPEAKER_01You got the money, you get the warm matter, you got everything. And you still wanted more.
SPEAKER_00When I wanted freedom, what it really meant was that I didn't want what I had.
SPEAKER_01Can I say one last thing before you start? Your tangent.
SPEAKER_00I don't think I have any other options, so go for it.
SPEAKER_01This is what happens in relationships. If you're aware and if you communicate and you're honest and willing to be vulnerable, the inner processes and evolution of partners usually mirrors each other and they go through very similar lessons, and you guys can grow together and catch up with these lessons. This is what happens to us for years that I go through something and then you have similar things a few days later, or you go through something and I have similar realization later. So it's almost like this collective stoop of lessons that's happening in the same time, and of course on its own timeline, but together, because every couple is their own entity or like kind of team. And that's what I wanted to say. That's exactly what our magnetic couples bracelets represent. That you mirror each other. And I don't have mine today, but that's the sponsor of every episode, because that's our beautiful online store for couples with magnetic couples bracelets. So you can check our website, Instagram, go get it. Love you. Okay. Yet another episode. Welcome. This is the podcast, What is Life with Martina and Thomas. And today we are exchanging our roles because in the previous episode I had the most space. I was the main talking talker, and I was the main listener. And it was intentional, and it turned into conversation, anyways. But today it's your day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so I'm gonna be building on what you were saying because you were basically saying last episode about your experience in the past few weeks. So I had also a big realization a couple weeks ago, and I think it was building for like a decade for me or even more.
SPEAKER_01Really?
SPEAKER_00So yeah, so I'm gonna be speaking about freedom.
SPEAKER_01Freedom! Freedom!
SPEAKER_00I think it started when I came to university about that time. Because before when I was in high school, and before, like I I felt really amazing in my life, and I had really good time in in high school. Before that, I had some things to deal with, of course, like my parents split up and stuff, but like generally in high school, like I had really good time, and I really feel like when I retrospectively look at that, that I was really living in the present moment, and I really loved every day and everything that was going on. I had many friends, and it was really, really, really good time for me. And then started the time where like you are supposed to decide what you want to be doing and where you wanna go for school, which eventually will lead you to some kind of job. And and then I started to feel that I don't like anything from what I see, like none of the options that were presented to me or that I was aware of that exist at that time. I was like, I don't wanna be like wearing suits every day to my work, or I don't want to be wearing anything that I that will be chosen for me, like that will be limiting me, you know, or or other things. Like I didn't felt like I wanna be waking up in the morning every day because that's what I really didn't like when I was going to school. That was like you mean early for me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, not like at all.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, early, early, early. Yeah, the big thing that started for me is that I realized that I will need to be making money somehow, someday eventually. And actually, that was the first time when I went to to the university to the college, and I um was living in a dorm, and that was the first time in my life when I experienced that I didn't have money. I had some, right? But from your parents, yeah, obviously, but not like enough, you know, for like life there. So yeah, and then it started for me, and I always was associating making money and having money and just jobs and just generally doing something with freedom, you know. For me, it was never really about like wanting big houses or fancy cars and these kind of things, even though you know, like all I always like these things, but it was not really the main thing for me that I would have wanna have things, like I would want to have clothes so much, like this, like possessions, you know, it was more about the freedom for me. And at that time, I started to associate freedom with money because everywhere I looked, I felt like okay, well, if I want this, if I want that, if I don't want to be waking up, if I want to wear whatever I want to wear, if I wanna hang out with whoever I want, if I wanna, and that was another thing that started for me. That I started really not liking winter that started already in in I guess high school or even before. I really felt like I want to be in warm weather, you know, at least during the winter time in in Europe. And this all like every time I thought about it, I was like, okay, I need money for that, I need money for that, I need money for that. So everything was connected with money for me. Basically, when you are 18 or what, like you're like, okay, and just pick something if you are lucky, if you are not, if it's not chosen for you, that you need to be a doctor, that's it. Then I guess it's harder. But like for me, uh my mom and dad basically always told me that I can do whatever I want, which is which was incredible. And then I realized that what I want is to be entrepreneur, that was the only thing that I liked. And then basically, a journey for me started maybe a little bit later because during university time I was still not really knowing what I want to be doing and what I'm gonna be doing.
SPEAKER_01You went to the US.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was going to the US every summer, which was incredible because I worked there whole summer and then I had enough money to survive the whole year back home. And I basically was experiencing that freedom already because I really loved my job in the US. I was working in restaurants, uh, started the first year like a bus boy, and then the last years I was working like a bartender, and it was it was a really incredible experience. I'm really grateful for that. And and I like the job, and it didn't even felt like a really job for me because I was having fun. Yeah, and I was going there either at 11 or at 4 p.m. or at 7 p.m. And I was never going there in the mornings, and it was really fun, like this environment in restaurants was always like about fun. It was always young people just just fucking around, basically, you know. So it was it was really nice, and then I really made a lot of money in the US, which when you go when you make money in the US and then you go to Slovakia, where you know I'm from, where we are from, then you have like really a lot of money, so it was incredible because I could survive the whole year with those money. So I started again experiencing a little bit of that. What I thought is a freedom. Yes. What I thought at that point, I thought that's the freedom. And then I knew after second, third summer there, I knew that okay, this is gonna end one day because I don't want to stay in the US, it would be really difficult with the visa. I couldn't go home for like six years or something. I see other people do that, so I was like, no, I don't want to do that. So I knew that I want to do something back home, and then I would say even a little bit of chasing of freedom started. But honestly, it wasn't like really going through a blot or something. I wanted to get there, but it wasn't really that I would do like whatever and just being behind the computer or doing something for 17 hours a day. No, it was it was kind of chill, it was kind of like I knew that this is what I want. I knew that my biggest thing was like the first thing that I wanted to achieve was to be able to go to a warm country during the winter time back home. Then I ended up in Prague, Czech Republic, and started this boom with courses and like people started doing education, right? One of these years, and I somehow I seen a course about how to sell on Amazon, and it I was really excited about it. It was really incredible because I suddenly saw how I can get that freedom that I was wanted because I understood that I can work from my laptop before I didn't know there were no things. It wasn't like it's now, it wasn't in my field of consciousness, that's what I would say. It wasn't like that, like now, that's for sure. So, yeah, I was really excited about that, and um, and I started to do that and was not really successful, but I learned things, and then I was doing other things and other things with my friend, and but then eventually, in maybe five years, let's say, I really learned a lot about online business. I really like that, even though I was not really making some serious money, but I was kind of surviving. But for me at that point, I felt like I don't care, I just want to cover my expenses.
SPEAKER_01Internship kind of stage.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was always telling myself that what I'm doing is buying time. I don't need to make a lot of money, but I want to have as much free time, okay, like free space in a day, yes, where I would invest it in myself. I would learn something and try new things and try new businesses and so on. This was my idea at that time how to achieve freedom, how to be free, how to be able to do whatever I want with whoever, wherever. You know, that was my idea, and it was not happening. Um, me achieving that.
SPEAKER_01Okay. This idea of freedom.
SPEAKER_00Yes, it was really not. I mean, I felt good to be honest. I I felt good in Prague because I felt really free in that city to be honest. Um, it felt I I really liked to like live there. I had not so many friends there, but I had good friends there, and um I had a girlfriend, so I was I was I was happy there, like I really like it. It it like the city itself, it felt very free. Like you could you could just do whatever there, and and you wouldn't be judged and people wouldn't care, and they just yeah, it was really nice, like a like a hippie.
SPEAKER_01Everyone minding their own business, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's how it is, but also it was really connected, it was really connected, it was it was nice, like I didn't felt like this anywhere in Slovakia, so that's why I really like liked it in Prague. This this freedom. So I already felt free there, to be honest. Uh, in a way, in a way, but again, like that at that point I was always associating freedom with money, and uh yeah, and that's where we're going slowly, slowly. Um, then I met you, and it was incredible. Like, I had so much fun with you. I was so happy and excited that I'm with you, you know. My high school crush or whatever, you know. Like, if you ask me a week before I met you, name one person that you would like to be with the most, I would say you. So that was so amazing. It was really one of the best times of my life. It was such a flow, and I I went home because of Corona.
SPEAKER_01Summer 2020.
SPEAKER_00Summer 2020, and I was living with my good, really good friend. So it was incredible to be there and hang out with my friends all the time, and and I started to work out, and it was perfect, even though I had like no job and I had some money, but I had like no idea how I'm gonna be making money, and I didn't care at that point. I really felt good. Like I really felt good.
SPEAKER_01And did you feel some kind of freedom?
SPEAKER_00For sure. For sure, for sure, for sure. I did feel some kind of freedom, but I still had my goal in the mind, and I knew that it's gonna happen eventually. I knew that I'm gonna be living in a warm country, I knew that you know I'm gonna be working on it until it's gonna happen, right? At that time, I was not really in this chasing mode, I was more like knowing that it's gonna happen, and I was more chill. I was just doing what I liked even before those five years in Prague, and and I was liking my life, and everything was cool. I I just knew that what I'm working on, and then we started to create a business, and again, it was amazing how easy it all went, uncomparable to whatever I was doing last five years. This was such a flow. First month we had money, second month we made like 10k, third month we made like 15 or whatever. It was just incredible, it was incredible. And then we went to Bali, and that was basically the first time I fulfilled this dream that I had, right?
SPEAKER_02Like a goal, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00That increased my freedom for sure.
SPEAKER_01Increased my freedom because of the money and the warm weather and the conditions you put on the yes, all of those things.
SPEAKER_00Okay, yes, yeah. First month or two, or a couple first months, actually, immediately I would say that I started to be afraid. Okay, so you reached your goal, kind of, and the I was afraid that I will lose it because you know the business was really young, it worked for a couple months, you know, and I didn't know like what's gonna happen, and it was all just so unreal. We made some videos, we put them to ads, and they brought money, you know, and then a lot of money, and then sometimes we put videos and they didn't bring anything, they lost us money, so it was just like Russian relationship, yeah, kind of roller coaster. And uh, but generally speaking, we had amazing that first year, and we made like really I probably the most or second most first two years we made the most money out of the business. It was really incredible. I feel like that I was living my dream at the time, I was really free there, and I guess some new dreams started to form. I wanted to be more free because it was always about the freedom for me, and I achieved the first goal, which was to be able to be in a warm weather where we spent four years basically. Once we've been there for a couple months, I felt like I want to be more free, so I felt like I wanna be able to go to other places as well, you know.
SPEAKER_01So, can I ask you a question?
SPEAKER_00No, yes, of course.
SPEAKER_01Do you feel like something similar happened to you? Like what you explained to me a few days ago, and this is like something that maybe happens to many people. Once they reach their goal, they thought they are chasing because it's outside of them, because it's not the true inner freedom, or they don't fulfill it from within, but they kind of get the outside validation of what they thought that that thing will bring them. Yeah, it's never enough, and you feel like you need more, and you're trying to like kind of fill the hole inside of you that is forever hungry. So for you, you believed once you have money, you're in the warm weather, you have a let's say girlfriend, I don't know what's like that.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_01You that's the freedom, and you had it. You you reached it sooner or later. 2021, January. You have money, you have business, you have ocean, you're surfing, you're in Bali, 35 degrees, ocean front villa, absolutely amazing. And still there was fear to lose that you're gonna lose it, plus you wanted more.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think it's normal that we have goals, right? And we when we achieve something or when we get somewhere and we fulfill those goals, we create new goals. So I had new goals, and I and I wanted to just bring it to the next level. Yeah, that's how I felt that. But everything that you say, you are right. Yeah, you are right. That's how I that's how it that's how it is when you think that the freedom that when you think that the freedom is hidden in money, or when you think freedom is hidden in being able to walk if you can't, or something, you know?
SPEAKER_01It's that you project it on something outside of you, yes, and you think you will get that from there, yes.
SPEAKER_00And then one and a half, two years after we came to Bali, then I feel like the really big chase started for both of us for the money. For me, it was because I wanted more freedom, because I wanted to be able to fly home anytime, or fly my mom or my parents, uh, you know, to Bali and be more with them, or just we wanted to explore other places uh in the world, or whatever it is that you want, you know. Um, I felt like at that point that I wanted to be more free. But why do you want to be more free? Because you don't feel really free. Once we start really chasing, once we start really pushing, and once we start really doing everything we could in our power to make more money, even though we had amazing money, we were good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once we start doing that, everything just started to go to shit, I would say. Like, really, like it was it was really for me like one of the hardest times of my life. It was really, really hard because whatever we tried was just not happening, it was just not fucking happening, and we tried good things, it was not like we were amateurs, we created the business and we tried to bring marketing options and we tried to create more of what we already have, what already works. Yeah, if we tried something completely new that we have no experiences in, I would understand that it doesn't have success. But we just our business, we just wanted to extend it and we expand it, and we had everything that we needed to do so, and we use all the available things in the market that were possible to do so, and it just was not I have so many emotions in my body right now. Yeah, yeah. I'm I'm I'm just grateful to be honest. So it was just not working at all. Even the money that we were making before, we stopped making that, we start making much less and less and less and less. So, anyways, what I'm trying to say is at some point you get so frustrated by things not going the way you want, there is just a certain level until when you can push something or like force, force, and then eventually you'll be like, Okay, fuck it, okay, it's not happening, you know, and it took us like three years or so, or something like that. So it took us about three years, and then we stopped.
SPEAKER_01We stopped what to chase.
SPEAKER_00I mean, myself, okay. I'm gonna speak about myself. So I stopped chasing this money that I thought are freedom, and I was like, okay, well, no matter what I do, it's just not happening. So I'm just like, okay, well, just fuck it. You know, I'm just gonna let it be and let's see what's gonna happen. And and things started to be better, to be honest. But most importantly, what I realized, and this is the whole big realization of this entire years, decades, I would say, is that I thought that I want freedom, but I think what I actually wanted and what I was actually chasing was to be able to somehow remove the resistance I was having. I thought that let's say you are home in the winter time and you look at your friends or whoever, doesn't matter how they are somewhere in the warm country. So for me, it would be triggering a couple of years ago, or I wouldn't feel good. I would be like, fuck, I want to also be there, why I'm not there. What I what was actually happening was that I had resistance of being where I was. Okay, and I thought and I didn't didn't like it. Of course, if you resist something, you have negative emotions, right? So I was having negative emotions about it. So I thought that with more money I can go there and I will not have negative emotions because you can buy that, right? You know, I can go and do what I want, and therefore I will feel good. I will not feel like shit. That's what I realized maybe just a couple weeks, months ago, that when I wanted freedom, what it really meant was that I didn't want what I had, and I was resisting what I had.
SPEAKER_01Present moment was it was so again we go to resistance, right?
SPEAKER_00So I was resisting that I didn't want it to be in cold weather, I wanted to be in warm one, and I thought that being free means that I can go to that warm one, and I thought that money will buy that for me.
SPEAKER_01But then the bridge between where you are and where you are. Yes.
SPEAKER_00So basically, I thought I want money, but then I very soon I realized I want freedom, and now I realize that I don't want any of that. I just was resisting and I just didn't want what I had. So that's that that was really big resistance for me, and then you can see if it's somewhere else in your life. This is for me, it was with the freedom, connected with money, business, whatever, but warm weather. But actually, it's about resisting, it's about resisting what is and what you have, and uh who you are, or who you are, or who others are, or how the world is, or anything, warm weather, you can resist anything, right? And you can think that you need that to be happy, and then I will be okay when I have that, yeah. And that for me was freedom and money, yeah. But actually, it was just me resisting what was rejecting what is, yes, and then I'm gonna take it even one step further. I experienced and I already experienced it several times in my life, but this was the first time when I realized what I'm experiencing right now, and it was like mind blowing. And I believe that everybody experienced this already, but maybe they also didn't interpret it like I'm gonna interpret it now before. So, what happened is that let's say you being a person who likes to break stuff and who likes to drop stuff, not intentionally, but like She takes used to used to now you break she used to take your phone that worked perfectly well for five and a half years, and she just clicks it and suddenly it doesn't work. And it's just mind-blowing. I don't know how it possible, but I had some toys back home that I have for 57 years inherited from my great-grandfather, worked perfectly to two world wars, three generations, everything was okay, and then suddenly just looks at it and it just dies. And this was, but remember, it was like baby. I just don't understand how it was possible. I don't know. And obviously, for me, it was triggering for five and a half years. I was like, Camo, can you just please be more careful? And always I was like, just angry, and it was just triggering for me. Like, why she's not careful? Like, why she's not taking care of things? I have things for years, she has things for weeks. How is it possible? You know, just like just be careful.
SPEAKER_01This makes me sad. Yeah, I'm sorry. That's how I felt. Yeah, I need it to happen because I needed to feel like the thing. She didn't.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously, like you had your own people. I was feeling it. Yes, of course. Of course, of course. So for me, it was triggering. It wasn't, it wouldn't be triggering in a way that I would yell at you, right?
SPEAKER_01It wouldn't be like I would never like being No, but you made me feel that she did not have it.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes, of course. Yes. I mean, it's hard not to when you have negative emotions, it's it's a mastery. But anyway, so so yeah, so I was feeling all this over and over and over every time something was breaking, even broken, even though I like to fix stuff. So it's many times I was happy that I can know, but mostly, mostly I was I was still triggered that she broke something, and then I don't know how, I don't know what happened, but I I mean I know what happened. I needed to experience it so many times until the resistance is a little bit less, a little bit less, a little bit less, a little bit less. And then what happened? It was on your birthday, right? When we went to Bikini Bottom, I guess it was on your birthday. So we went there and we were eating, and there was a bowl of salad that we shared in between of us, and fries, and fries, and she somehow managed to just somehow not spill, how you say how you say it when it's not literally drop, like I don't want to say half of the bowl, but like some part of the bowl of the fries and some part of the bowl of the the salad over the table, and in the in the past, I would be like, Oh my god, why? Why is she again not being careful? Just just slowly take your time, just be mindful of your hands, you know. But this time like nothing, you felt nothing. I was okay, and I was like I was even surprised. I was just like I was just like, something's different, like why is it okay for me? You know, it's just like wow, and then maybe five minutes later, you again did something like this, and again I was okay. Wow, and at that point, and that point I realized this is freedom because you don't feel anger and negative emotions about stuff, but you don't achieve it by paying, you don't achieve it by fucking trying, you you just it will happen for escaping the present moment, yeah.
SPEAKER_01You like it's there's no way, but it will happen when you will learn the lesson and when the right time comes, and then you stop resisting, so you stop resisting, and you go from resistance through the acceptance of the present moment and how shit is, no matter how the circumstances are, to the earner freedom, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And this is what I wanted to say this whole speech. I first time under, I mean, this is my new understanding. Maybe in a couple years I will have another one, but you will for sure. Maybe let's see, but for now, like this is the highest level of understanding of freedom that I experienced is not to be able to go wherever you want, not to have the boyfriend you want, not to have the body you want, not to have anything that your mind that your mind is telling you that you want, but to be okay with what is, to be okay with now, whatever it is, even if you if you are a homeless person, even if you are fucking whatever you are, wherever you are, however you are, if you are okay with what is, with what you have, with what you don't have, with who you are, who you are, who you are not, who you maybe never will be, who you're with, even if they're fucking making you go crazy. So, how's the world? What's happening over there, and what's happening over there, and that they are starving and they are fighting, and they are rich, and they are poor, and they are whatever, like just however the shit is if you're okay with that, you are free because you are always happy, because you are okay with everything. Yeah, you accept for freedom, you're in bliss, you are in yeah, you're just happy, you're optimistic, because you know that whatever is good. Yes, and you like it, and you don't want to change it. Yes, you don't want to change it, and that's the freedom. Because if you don't like something, if you want to change something, if you resist something, you feel like shit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because you keep chasing something like a like a rabbit, some carrot they will never catch.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, or maybe they will, but still even apple, but yeah, but now while like during the chase, you feel like shit, and the chase can take five years.
SPEAKER_01Can I also remind you another moment of this acceptance and inner? There's so many, I have so many, but yeah, you can it's an interesting one because because of this financial downhill we went through in the years, and that was our story to learn this lesson. I think everyone goes through this. This is the point of I think evolution in life to understand you are love, you are everything, and you have everything inside of you, and basically whatever circumstances there are, if you are able to react with acceptance and love, you're free. And what you know, we used to live in huge, beautiful houses on a golf course, overlooking uh ocean, and all of this the first years, and as we started chasing, all this started to downsize because we didn't like what we had, exactly, and we needed to learn it somehow, and that's why life will provide you with lessons and push you into the corner so that you surrender, allow, start trusting, and just fucking be like it's not giving up, you give in, and the only way out, the only result is the acceptance because you just can't. It's like when my dad died, it was such a shock, and I couldn't change it, I just had to accept it. It's the same shit, but that's for another podcast. But I wanted to say we started to oh, there's a little lizard, so cute. We started to move into smaller and smaller villas because that's what we could afford, and then at some point we moved to Vihan, which is in Ubut. And this was like compared to what we lived before in, this was a shack. They call it a shack, it was just like a box, a cottage, a cottage, the view was beautiful and everything. But I remember when we came there, you felt really no first you felt horrible, okay, and then something switched after a few days. We stayed there for like three weeks, and after like one week, I remember that was the first time when you didn't understand why. If you're in such a small house, you can feel so good, but you felt good, even though all of the circumstances outside of you would be normally making you miserable.
SPEAKER_00But that's the thing, you'd be normally like what is that? In the past, it's yeah, yeah, in the past, yeah, or maybe not, like who knows? It's just a proof that it doesn't matter what you have. Yes, if you are okay with what you have, you are free, you feel you feel good, you you don't want to change that. And this builds on more things that I believe or we believe, but I'm gonna say for myself, and it's whatever you are meant to be or have or experience, like the big things. Uh, I believe that it's gonna happen regardless of what you do. And there are things that cannot be avoided. So if something is meant to be, it's gonna happen, and if something is not meant to be, it's never gonna happen, and therefore the chase doesn't make sense. If you are okay with what you have, you are okay with what you have now, and you are okay with whatever you will have in the future, even if it's less, even if it's more, even if it's blue, even if it's green, even if it's in cold or if it's in warm, you know. And I believe that whatever you are meant to go through and whatever you are meant to experience will happen. So you're trying so hard to create this business or make this much money, or I don't know, look like this, or let's say live there or have this kind of wife, or I don't know, whatever it is that maybe you are trying to chase just doesn't make sense because if it's meant to be, you don't have to chase it, it's gonna happen. And if it's not meant to be, the chase will just bring you more down and give you more frustration. You know, for example, for myself, I thought I will have my own house when I will be 30, but it never happened, and I don't think I could do something more or differently so it happens. I believe that those are the things that are just pre-done for us. I was speaking about something like this before, that there are certain things that are like pre-you know, pre-set, pre-set. There's nothing you can do. It's like we were driving a bike for four years in Bali and we never had any accident whatsoever. And then you were driving the other day, a month ago, alone, and you had a very small accident on a bike where you scratch your foot and whatever. Yeah, but there was nothing you could do. It was not like you have time to think, and I'm gonna decide whether I'm gonna left or right, whether I'm gonna do this business or this business, this career, this career, this woman, this man, whatever you are about to decide. It's just and it happens. Yeah, and it's not that you weren't careful, you were going to any. No, it just happens, it's just there.
SPEAKER_01It's just it's just something flew in my eye. Yeah, and I couldn't, it just happened. Yeah, it's just pre pre the whole circumstances, universe, life, and this is what life is. Again, coming back to this podcast name. Life creates that life for you, and you are you are that life, you are everything, you create it for yourself, essentially. But that's the journey you're on to realize that you're always safe, you are everything, and all of this was you chose this for yourself to go through these lessons for this life. Like, it's so easy, but you know, it takes time and a lot of resistance and feelings of anger and crying, and oh yeah, yeah. But I wanted to say, like, also, this is connected. The freedom is opposite. I feel tell me what you think. Do you believe that freedom is opposite of control and micromanagement of your life?
SPEAKER_00Because yeah, I I associate freedom with with love, you know, and if it's not love, then it's opposite, it's resistance. Yeah, so yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_01Control, I suppose, ask about control.
SPEAKER_00Control, same thing. What is control? You want something to be like this, yes, so you resist how it is, or you resist so it's not like this, so it's not like this. You only want it like this. This so again, you resist other options, you know. There is always some kind of resistance in everything that feels like. And you assume this will be this will be the best, but you cannot possibly, yeah, or you assume that other options are bad, and this one is good, and that's why you want it, and you are trying to force it that way, but you know, and then that's why we come down, all this comes down to the your my new favorite thing that you told me to do.
SPEAKER_01Just bungee jump into the feeling, just bungee jump into the resistance, just bungee jump into whatever's happening. Yeah, there's a security right now coming here, and we don't know what's gonna happen.
SPEAKER_00Interesting, I never thought that we would even go here. This is like the most secluded street in the entire nice.
SPEAKER_01Well, can't control that, no resistance, gonna continue. And I feel like that's the maybe that's also what people try to. I would never probably bungee jump. But maybe I will just because you already did know. No, they threw me down the the it's called swing, it's not jumping. I wasn't able to jump, but also it's not like this, but you start to it's it's different for my twenty twenty.
SPEAKER_00But you explain the bungee jumping because I don't think you explained it in a way that it's really understandable.
SPEAKER_01Understood?
SPEAKER_00Understood, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So you told me when I was feeling the most resistance in the recent weeks, baby, just do like oh just bange jump, just like allow this feeling of resistance to go through you, just like oh yeah, because uh that's the bangee jump.
SPEAKER_00Maybe I can explain a little bit more because for me, when you bange jump and when you already are flying, there is nothing you can do, you have no control. You cannot say I'm gonna go this way or that way or this way or this is gonna happen like a leap of faith. It's just like you are just there, like you can the only thing you can do is just spread your arms. That's like you can't do anything. There's nothing you can do, so just allow it to happen like this. Yeah, and and you know, I want to connect one more thing to all of this. This whole process that took me years was really I'm sorry, took me years, yeah. Um, was really uneasy in many situations, but also amazing in other situations, especially when we started the chase in Bali for the for the freedom and money, that was really, really, really hard, really, really, really hard. Like, really hard. And if you find yourself in this kind of situation where something is really hard, in whatever it is, it's still good for something. And I can honestly say that everything that I went through with all the failed businesses that I had, or like failed attempts to do something, or or failed marketing things that we try to do for our business, or like whatever we tried, or I tried before. Why is it good you see sometimes in uh five minutes, sometimes in five hours, but sometimes in five years or ten? And um, I understand now that freedom is not in making money or having money or being able to fly to your parents anytime you want, or fly your friends wherever you are and having a party, but the freedom is in being okay with what is and not resisting what is. And I'm really, really, really grateful for the lesson, and it was all worth it. And even if you are in a situation where you are really resisting something and you feel really shitty about something, understand bungee jump and understand that one day you understand why it was good, yes, yes, because it is always good for something, it's just that we don't see why and we don't want it, so we resist it, but it's always good for something, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And you can connect the dots backwards of your life, yeah, and it's the evolution makes you see it clearer faster, that's true, but also just wait and see without judgment what is the situation about. We are so quick to give verdicts and final judgment and opinions and assuming about what's happening, what's gonna come out of it. But I think the peace and freedom comes from knowing that you're the observer, being in the middle of the tornado, and allowing the wind and the storm to pass as it wants to, allow life to unfold as it wants to, and from that peace and freedom inside of you, you learn to live and take action and accept everything as it is, and that brings you the ultimate joy that the money or the thing outside of you could never do because we you got it, you get the money, you get the warm matter, you get everything, and you still want it more.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so it's and I'm grateful that I didn't end up in this kind of feeling for decades, you know, because maybe there are people that still want to more and then chase more and then still want to more and chase more and still want to more and never feel satisfied, and so on.
SPEAKER_01So that's what we are programmed with, I feel, so that we can break it. So it's also important to know that this is also something good for us, because how else would we learn? How else would we know that the freedom is not the money to chase without chasing the money, right? So I think it's it's just a beautiful duality of this life that brings us ability to learn and grow and evolve, and I'm so grateful we can do this together, yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, because like, okay, cool, like you can do it alone, but like it's so nice to talk about it and yeah, just to record it on a random street that nobody knows, and and I believe that anybody can just think about something that they've been resisting in the past, and now they are okay with that.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes, to see the proof that it evolves.
SPEAKER_00That you are evolving, and you don't have to be even aware of it, you don't have to even want it, it's just happening all by itself, and it happens at the exact time. And uh and many times even the situation changes in the favor that you want it in the first place when you stop wanting it, which is also like crazy. But I think that's also for another episode. But we we we're gonna like be putting little bit, little bits of here and there of everything that we've got.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because it's our biggest lesson together and alone, and we just love to process it through talking together. We do this anyways, 24-7. So, I mean, we do it, you know. It's like, baby, you know what I realized? Oh, baby, listen, I've realized this. Baby, you know what? This is like always, and then in between, oh fluffy, you're so fluffy to our dog, and then what do you want to eat? And then what's the plan for today? And then can you get me green tea? And then you know what I realized. So it's like always this kind of thing. It's just so much fun to grow and evolve together. As you spoke about freedom today and the resistance and all these things that you found the freedom through the acceptance of the present moment. I think that was reflecting so much with us as well in our relationship, and especially me. That was my own resistance thing. For you, it was money, for me, it was relationship. So, yeah, I just want to normalize it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I I I wanna maybe say last thing from my side, and I wanna say that this all this evolving is happening regardless of if you are aware of it, regardless if you think about it, regardless if you try to help it. Like you can't really push it, you can't really postpone it. It's just gonna happen when it's gonna happen, and uh, you're gonna learn what you need to learn and at just at the right time. It's just can be done sooner, and it will not be done later. So you can just relax.
SPEAKER_01And all those people who tell you, like, buy my course, and in 30 days you will be a new person.
SPEAKER_00You will.
SPEAKER_01You will, but maybe not how you think and your mind would like it to be. So buy the course and get what your soul signed up for before coming to this life. But maybe just allow it to give you what it's meant to give you. But maybe the expectations are what brings us the most resistance when it doesn't happen. The mind creates that. So yeah. I don't know why I've said that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't know either. I don't know, but yeah, you can have the you can have the whole next podcast about cores if you want. Maybe you just you just brought a little how is it introduction for the cliffhanger?
SPEAKER_01Clive hanger cliffhanger of the bungee jumping.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because it can basically be connected to anything, yeah. Like what you just said for somebody is when you buy cores, you think that you will receive A, but actually you will receive B, C, D, E, F, G, but you will never receive A. But it can be the same about when you are entering a relationship, when you are moving to a new city, new country, if you are getting a new job, if you start a new business. If you have expectation that it will bring me this, then something else happens, then there's disappointment, and there's resistance resistance because it's not giving you what you want. But if you are just open and be like, okay, detached from what it will just bring whatever, but it is good for something, and you will realize good for what some next time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, in the future. That's the detachment part of everything, and yeah, and mean in the meanwhile, just let us know what you're resisting the most right now in your life in the YouTube section, because this is a video as well. If you're listening to this and if you're used to listening to these podcasts on Apple podcasts or other, you know, audio thing, just know that now you can see our faces and our matching clothes always, and our matching jewelry.
SPEAKER_00And on your clicking our bracelets if Martina didn't forget her. Yeah. But I just want to say that Magnetic Couples bracelets is our sponsor of this thing, and we are so grateful for that because with without it, we wouldn't be able to just chill here and hang out and do this.
SPEAKER_01And have these stories, have these lessons. Yeah, magnetic couples bracelets. We think it's a business, but it's the biggest feature.
SPEAKER_00It is, it is. Yeah, because I was connecting it with freedom, which was my biggest thing, and you were connecting with Salworth, which is so yeah, so it is. So yeah, see, it's like you think that you are creating something that gives you money or whatever, but you are actually freeing yourself to the actual freedom where you feel good with yourself, you and me in what is whatever you're chasing, it's not outside of you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's inside of you. Yeah, thank you, baby. Good job. Good fucking job. Yeah, that's amazing.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna pee now.
SPEAKER_01Me too! Okay, okay. Thank you for watching, and I'll see you in the next one.