What is Life? With Martina & Tomash

10. I spent 6 years thinking my own boyfriend was against me (HE WASN’T)

Martina

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For 6 years I kept hearing criticism from Tomash. No matter what he said, no matter how loving he was — my brain turned it into an attack. Turns out? It was never him.

This is Episode 10 of What Is Life, recorded somewhere on a beautiful road near Nha Trang, Vietnam — sweaty, freshly recovered from a bike crash, kidney pain AND slippery stairs — but we showed up anyway. 😂

WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT:

The Expansion & Contraction Cycle — Why I go from feeling like a supernatural human to not being able to get out of bed. If you've ever had periods where you feel unstoppable and then suddenly you can't function — this one will finally give you words for it.
When Your Body Forces You to Stop — Bike accident. Kidney pain. Falling down slippery stairs in the rain in Dalat. All in one month. My body was screaming at me to slow down and I was too stubborn to listen — until I had no choice.
The Voice in My Head That Sounded Exactly Like Him — How I realized I was putting my own worst thoughts into Tomash's mouth for 6 years. He wasn't criticizing me. My inner critic was. And I had no idea.
What Is Unconditional Love Actually — Near the end of this episode I go deep on something that hit me hard. I grew up with "I love you IF." Tomash showed me "I love you ANYWAY." There's a huge difference and I don't think I understood it until now.
Tomash Becomes the Interviewer — We tried something completely different this episode. He asked the questions. I answered. No battle for space, no interrupting, no chaos. Just... flow. It felt so different we had to talk about it. 😂

THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF:

🌴 You sometimes feel like your partner is always criticizing you — even when they're not
🌴 You go through big high periods and big low periods and wonder if something is wrong with you
🌴 Your body has ever forced you to slow down and you didn't understand why
🌴 You grew up feeling like love was something you had to earn
🌴 You're tired of perfect relationship content and just want someone to say "yeah, me too"

WHAT THIS EPISODE IS NOT:

❌ Polished (we're sweaty, sitting on a road in Vietnam, still recovering)
❌ A step-by-step guide (we have zero steps, we barely had a plan)
❌ Short (I talk a lot, you know this by now 😂)
❌ Relationship advice (just two people figuring it out and oversharing about it)

WHAT THIS EPISODE IS:

✅ The messy middle of a real breakthrough — not the highlight reel version
✅ Words for something you've probably felt but couldn't explain
✅ Proof that you can change without your partner changing a single thing
✅ A honest look at what unconditional love actually feels like from the inside
✅ The softest, most flowing episode we've recorded so far — and somehow the most honest

ABOUT US:

I'm Martina (34, manifesor, professional overthinker, had 3 accidents in one month and still showed up to record this). He's Tomash (36, calm AF, became the interviewer this episode, still can't believe people actually listen). We're the couple behind Magnetic Couples Bracelets. We live in Vietnam. Together 24/7 for 6 years. We run a business together. We have a golden retriever named Bukhta. English is our second language. I swear when I'm excited. Tomash is quietly proud of this one. We're both works in progress — and we're okay with that.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Magnetic Couples Bracelets: https://www.magneticcouplesbracelets.com/

LET'S CONNECT:

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/martinarajcan/

Have a beautiful day or night, wherever you are. If you've ever turned the person who loves you most into the enemy in your own head — this episode is for you. You're not broken. You're just human. 💕

P.S. — Nothing in his reality changed. I just finally chose to see him differently. That's the whole episode. That's the whole thing.

P.P.S. — We recorded this after a bike crash, kidney pain, a fall down the stairs AND my period. If that's not commitment to this podcast I don't know what is. 😂

P.P.P.S. — Tomash wants to know if you actually listened till the end. Drop a comment and let him know. He still can't believe you do. 🌱

This is life. Messy, sweaty, recovering, real. And somehow still beautiful. 🎢