SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hi, it's Martina and welcome to episode number seven of What is Life? So I almost didn't post this one, this episode, because as I was editing it and I listened back to it, I thought like this is just random fucking yapping, or it's so messy. We even like disagree a little a lot. You know, we go on tangents and Domas literally says, like, I don't think this episode has a point at the end. But then I was like, what the hell? Whatever. You know what? Like, this is us. This is real, this is raw, it's honest, and like uh honestly, it proves the very point of this podcast, right? This is what life really is, and uh it's messy, yeah, and it's chaotic and it's ADHD, and it doesn't go as I plan, and in the end, it doesn't even matter. Thanks, Chester. But here's what did happen in this episode. As I listened back to our last argument, and I I realized in the sixth episode I mean, I was reacting to stories in my mind and not what was actually said, and that kicked off this whole conversation you're gonna listen to about why I used to think I was a bad person for being emotional. Then we discussed how acceptance actually changes everything in the relationships and your life. And also why I bought a stuffed puppy dog to represent my ego. And you know, this is not five steps to fix your life. No. This what you're gonna listen to is seriously just life itself. And if you have ever felt like you're too much, too emotional, or you're just fundamentally like broken and fucked and nothing makes sense, then this one is for you. But if you are looking for some structured, you know, self-help coaching mindset fucking thing, this one I'm sorry, but it's not for you. So you might as well just you know wait for the next one. But I'm so happy you're here and let's get to it.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

So hello.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

Hi. Hi, good morning, good evening, good afternoon, good night, wherever you are in the world listening. We're back.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

I'll wait until we make your 15-minute intro.

SPEAKER_04 3:02

We're back with another episode of What is Life? Baby, it's living, it's living here and now. Remember?

SPEAKER_01 3:14

No.

SPEAKER_04 3:14

Oh my god, you never what do I remember?

SPEAKER_01 3:21

You always make different songs every time we record.

SPEAKER_05 3:24

I created this song in the last episode. I created it on the way to Dana.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

How am I supposed to know that it sticks? You are changing things every three hours, baby.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

Yeah, that's true. Well, uh, shall we continue? Last episode was really fun. Also, last two, actually. We fought, or like we had an argument in the middle of it. And it gave me so much, honestly, during during during recording and also during the editing, because I got to for the first time listen to the actual conversation we had, not the one which is in my head.

SPEAKER_05 4:07

Okay, in the middle of the argument, which I react to.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

There was one thing that I told you to listen. And you were right.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

I was I don't remember it, but you were right. And I didn't come back from the coffee shop telling you you were right, but I told you that it was just so shocking to listen to the truth, not the story in my head, because that's you know mostly what we what we as humans react to is the things that not that they are said, but how we transform or translate them through our filters into our head, and then we react to it. But like hundred people could hear the thing you said with completely different understanding based on of based on their own wounds, and like I usually hear every like most of the things that you tell me that trigger me in a way that so what else am I doing wrong, you know? Yeah, and oh my god, okay, don't you don't have to put me down, or something like that. Like I yeah, so every other person would like hear it in a different way. Somebody would be like, Why are you disrespectful? or like something like that. And it was just so interesting because when I wasn't fired up and I was at a coffee shop just enjoying my editing time, I could hear it like completely objectively with love, and it was just absolutely natural, neutral. It was neutral from you, and I was really proud to hear you to be so calm because I never believe you, you're calm, because I'm not calm, dude. It was like it was really a huge experience for me. Plus the dream last two nights, I see you like completely just ball of light.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

I think this is something that it many times happens to me that I tell you something, and even though I use exact words where I say, baby, I love you, and I feel like that you hear I hate you. And it's like impossible to talk to, you know, because even like there is a proof, right? In the last episode, yeah. Where I I don't remember what it was. I think maybe we should have listened to it because now I feel like that people will not understand like what the hell we are talking about.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

Well, go listen, guys.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

It's really because I even I don't know what are we talking about. I just know that there was this situation where you were trying to tell me that I said.

SPEAKER_03 6:42

You had nothing to say when I expected you to complete my thought train train of thoughts. Okay. And then I got angry because I told you then what the fuck are you doing in this podcast if you're not talking? Because I was speaking about energy healing and you said it's not a topic you want to open yet.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:59

And then basically I got really angry that you are not complying to my terms and conditions, which you signed before you joined this podcast as a co-host. No, wait, as a guest. So yeah, I just got basically self angry. And you were just there, and it was really funny to watch me running in.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

But I was also triggered. It was also hard for me. I don't I don't I don't I didn't hear me. I didn't hear myself. Well, I'm always trying to be loving even when it's uncomfortable for me. But uh and it's obviously easier for me than for you, you know. Why obviously. I don't know, like I'm even when I'm angry or even when I'm sad, I you know how I am. I usually just feel like being alone, or I go way down and I sleep it off or something, but you yell.

SPEAKER_03 7:50

So that's the little yell, I change my tones into you yell less, that's true. No, yeah, I don't yell anymore.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

I neon every second Thursday.

SPEAKER_03 8:04

I get really sassy, or I get like really like angry teenager. I want to tell you, I was shocked when I listened to it because in my head, my body feels in the moment, it feels so activated, it's like flames, it's like a war zone in a movie. That's how I feel. When I listen to it though, it was so peaceful conversation. Like you could feel from me, because I know myself a little bit that I have some kind of in my body, like I could somehow remember how I felt, but from the if if somebody who doesn't know us or somebody who's not inside of my body or your body, if they'll listen to it, they're like, Oh, this is a fight, this is just a blowing conversation. Really? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

Wow, I'm gonna be able to do that. I was shocked.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

So wait, I want to ask the listeners, all the 75 people, like if you listen to the last episode, can you let us know if it felt like a fight or just like an exchange of opinions? But I think it's very because to me it felt so peaceful, I was shocked. But maybe that's just because I had this.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Because you know, some people consider fight when you actually throw punches, and some people consider fight because when you you know, so it's hard to say, but like maybe we can listen to it together, yeah, even though like I have enough of it. Sometimes it's like really But I think we handled it really well, and I think it also happens when you know that strangers might be listening. I mean, at least for me, it helps me to be more relaxed in those moments.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

You know, I guess you're right.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Like it's at least after some time, because like I know that for you it takes much longer time to get back to love than for me. Like for me, when something happens and when I get triggered, and when we start having some argument or something, like in the beginning, I'm just like like you you called it out to pilot a couple minutes ago. So that's that's how I feel. It's just like I just can't do anything, it's just happening. You just you want to stop it, but it's not possible. But then like very soon I realize okay, I see what's happening, and I'm trying to just just not to go with it, but just go back to love. Yes, for me, like for me, I see that it is so much more easier because like you even if you think about some of our fights, okay, in the past, like when it happens, like in the beginning, it's maybe really um a lot, but then I'm quiet and you just you just go, if you remember, and and and I'm just waiting for you to change. Or you leave to a room or at least too much, you know. But like for me, like I like it it doesn't take that long time to just to just be like have it over, you know, just like be done with the with the with the thing. But I I know that for you it takes a little bit longer to for me it's different because it's in my body.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

I have to fight my physical sensations, same. Like it's almost like somebody is somebody is like you jump a lot in my speech in the last times. I didn't finish three points, but it's okay because I had a bad dream with you, and I love you more because of that. So it's okay. Yeah, for me, I have to fight my sensations, it's crazy, and that's that's basically what I spoke about in the beginning of the last episode. Is that it's almost like a muscle that you keep exercising until it knows exactly how to work out, it doesn't like break with the first heavy lifting. So that's my body, you know? It's like yeah, it's only practice, and I'm so sad when I know that many relationships end because the couple is maybe not willing to go through this hard battlefield of balancing each other out and finding their own groove of quote-unquote fighting process, because it is a process you kind of learn, you get to know each other, you get to know each other's like weapons or things you say, or the triggers and things, and honestly, just waiting it out, going through it without like breaking up. That's what I think is is the key, you know, because it will happen. And as you said yes, last time in the last episode, it's going from resisting how things are between you two into accepting how they are, and that's the key to having those fights smoothing out and being less and less, you know, um difficult and less and less hurtful, and then at the end of the day, you realize you're laughing within a few seconds, like today or when was it? I was so like I was sad or something or angry, and you came to me and you said, Can you give me Rohlik? And then I just smiled and you said, That's it, you know, like it's just our little inside joke, like, can you give me a smile? A smile. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

I think that it's actually I think that's what that's how it needs to be. Like, I think that um everybody is somewhere else in their evolution, and therefore everybody can handle different amount of these sensations that you were just talking about. And like for somebody it takes seconds to go back to love, for somebody it takes minutes, and for somebody it takes hours, and for somebody it takes years to just forgive something and forget something and get over something that somebody did to them, and you know, like somebody never gets through that, and some people are actually fighting and actually punching and you know, having these kind of experiences. So, you know, so people need to break up as well. I I understand that it's it's it's not something you can really avoid, and it's not something, yes, it's a muscle, but it it's not something you can learn in a minute or in hours or in the weeks or in months, it's something you learn in lifetimes, literally. So I think it takes time to master that and to get there, but wherever whoever is, I think it's exactly what there need to be.

SPEAKER_03 14:35

So I wanna I wanted to talk about the fact that I had no idea that there can be some kind of way how to approach conflict before in a relationship. I just thought that you know, you shout, they shout, I shout, it's different opinions, and then you say bad things to each other, somebody leaves, somebody cries, and it's all drama. I didn't know, I had no idea, it wasn't in my awareness that there's a possibility of handling it differently. Because, like, they're fucking dick. Like, what is there to? How can I be loving towards them? How can I, how can this be solved in a soft way? Like, we are both very emotional, and then of course it's gonna go to shit, and it will, you know, decide whether this relationship I'm talking about love, romantic relationship fighting, okay? Conflict. And so it then one lashes out, and then the first one who says they're sorry will kind of solve it, and that's it. Like that's what I learned when I was a child, right? So this is where I got my template for conflict with another human being from. Um, the question will come at the end of this, okay? Because I have a question to ask you. When I explain, like it was usually that I did something wrong according to my mom, and until I admitted that I was wrong and I did it wrong, and I agreed with her because I couldn't have my own opinion, it was just not possible with her. Um, I couldn't explain myself or kind of like it wasn't equal to equal.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Like you were not allowed.

SPEAKER_03 16:18

I was not allowed to have my truth. So until I was smart enough and understood that she is right, quote unquote, and that her truth is my truth as well. Um, I she didn't speak to me until I came crawling back and say, Okay, mom, I'm so sorry, you are right. Yeah, so this was always the pattern. So in the back of my head, I was always the one. Eventually, I learned that okay, no matter how big of a fight is, no matter who was right, who was wrong, even though I now I know it doesn't exist, right? But no matter who started it, whose fault was it, whatever, I should be the one who says I'm sorry, and therefore everything will be ironed out, cleaned up, clean slate. We can continue starting fresh, everything is good. And now I'm coming to our relationship. When this started, I would always come back. I'm sorry, I was wrong. I'm you know, I would do this whole cycle of me getting angry, growing all this way of you know getting it out of me, then feeling bad about it, and then coming back and I'm I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And I wanted to ask you if you ever knew how to handle conflict, if you had some kind of idea about what we do now, like okay, he's triggered, okay, I'm triggered, okay. We should stay in love, okay. There are some rules where I should take responsibility for my emotions, I should speak like I feel not to project, and then these kind of things. Have you I just look at you?

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Please just don't tell me that after 10 minutes of you speaking, you're gonna ask me questions about everything you just said.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

No, the question is were you ever aware that no yeah? Because it's crazy. Now we have so much more awareness. Have you ever had have you ever had awareness that a conflict can be handled with love, acceptance, and yeah, maybe few hiccups here and there, but ending in even deeper connection of those two human beings who are having I was never thinking about these kind of things in my life.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

Yeah, you didn't have to because you didn't have me. For me, it it's very hard for me to to to say because if I had awareness, okay. No, I did not because I was not thinking about it. I it was never in just like I was never thinking about life and things like this, but also I need to say that I probably were in less conflicts in my entire life than you had on a bad week in yours, you know? Yeah, so I think that's something important to mention. Like I I just I don't know, like I didn't have many conflicts, and I can't say I never had a conflict, but I I don't even remember so many, you know, like I had just very little, so but only with my mom. But for me, to be honest, all the conflicts and all of those things started with you.

SPEAKER_03 19:45

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

And once you met me in 2020. Yeah, and it was mostly because you did not like something, like you had the resistance that we were talking about last time. So you had like I feel like that you had resistance about something. And uh and yeah, of course I had my own things as well, but like, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:10

I'm raising my hand, which is the correct way not to interrupt someone, just so you guys know. Or maybe you can let me finish and then you can it's important because you said something about me, which I believe is not true, so I'm correcting it, which is what you normally do.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Okay, moving on.

SPEAKER_03 20:26

Moving on, you said that the fights were mostly because I didn't like something. I I beg to differ. Very English. I beg to differ. For me, it was because I didn't know how to communicate my needs and wants and desires lovingly. So I was like, no, I don't like this, but it was actually me in a loving way would be, baby, actually, you know what, this doesn't feel really good. Would you please be able to do it differently? So for me, it was not resistance, it was inability to communicate my needs and wants and my opinions with love because I would immediately see you as an enemy since you didn't do it the way that I would like.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

Yeah, and that's the point. I didn't do something the way you liked. So you were resisting control freak. So you were not liking what you saw.

SPEAKER_03 21:22

But that's that's how I that's how I do you think this podcast is about how shit bitch I am and how you are just amazing and we're all just talking about my flaws? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Well, you wanted to have these conversations in the same way that we talk, and you know, we mostly talk about you because it's easier for both of us. So find something about me. I'm I'm gonna I'm happy to try, but uh that's not even I like to talk about me.

SPEAKER_03 21:49

I like to analyze me, I like to do these things because because that's life, right? And this is why I created a lot of things.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

And this is your podcast that is you speak about you, and I'm just here as a guest that the Been observing you for six years. So But for me, it like all of this doesn't mean that you are bitch on it or anything like that. That's I think that's important thing to put out.

SPEAKER_04 22:09

Oh at some point.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

And some like the only thing that I remember when like these things started to happen, like it was really hard for me, and I for a very long time felt like they are happening because of you. That's true.

SPEAKER_03 22:24

Because I believed I'm a problem. I'm the biggest problem of the world.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

Yeah, so I I believe that you know, if it was up to me or if it would be, you know, yeah, if I could control it, like we wouldn't argue, like that's what I thought. Because I was never arguing basically with anybody, you know. Not like never, and not like with anybody, but you know what I mean. Uh with exceptions. So yeah, so I felt like that for a long time and it was really hard, but then I don't know. One day I just accepted that this is who you are, and that's in the end of the day, the only thing that needs to be done.

SPEAKER_03 23:03

I think it changed in the same time as I stopped believing that I am a bad person because of all these things. Because if you think about it, I'm now speaking maybe to someone who believes they're a bad person. Maybe you believe you're a bad person because you react with very strong emotions, and you are too emotional in your eyes, and that it's bad because maybe your parents or your caregivers couldn't handle that well, and they were punishing you for it. Okay, so that's the maybe first person I'm talking to. Or maybe you are someone who believes that you were always a burden or a problem because of how you were, and this is exactly actually why I started this podcast alone. It was never meant to be our love story, but whatever, it's all life, yeah. But I wanted to just say like these were exact thoughts that I used to have since I met you, and you started to create these emotions in no again, you were not creating anything in me. You held the space or you created you helped create circumstances in my life, yeah, which were happening by my choices as well. I take full responsibility for for absolutely everything. It happened that I started to melt and my emotions started to come to the surface. And because of that, because I didn't know myself in that light, because even I was taking birth control for 14 years, uh, that was really putting down the real emotions. That's what it does. It's a hormonal, you know, pill that changes, that basically suppresses the way you feel, the way you act, the way you are. And that's important also to say a few months, I think four months before I met you in 2020 in July, I stopped taking those. So my body was completely going through so many changes at once that you know when it started all happening, and I it was adding the anxiety and all of these things that we will speak about when once we came to Bali, I would wake up with anxiety. I started to feel such like such a problem. Like I'm the worst person in the world, you know. I started to internalize guilt from this because I saw it creating problems. I was making you sad. And that's exactly what we as kids do when we have big emotions. It's so much energy, and we can't yet blame anyone. We don't understand the world that way. This is from psychology, um, from like science, how brain works when you're a child. You start to feel like you're the cause of everything. And because I had this kind of pattern my whole life with my mom, that I always had to be the one who said he was wrong, that I was wrong, okay, I'm sorry, you're right, and I had to just like shut up and follow her lead, right? It was a little bit of a controlling.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

But you actually didn't have to.

SPEAKER_03 25:59

I didn't have to, but that's what I chose for this life. It was exactly the biggest lesson that I chose for this life to learn and unlearn and um integrate and then talk about in this beautiful podcast. So I I I thought that I am the worst person in the world. And I felt so much guilt for years until one day, I don't know, you know, there was a lot of things in between we will talk about. But one day I realized, wait, how can I be bad when I really don't want this? I I it's not my choice. I just don't know what to do about it. If anything, I'm doing more than is healthy to change it, to improve myself, to fix myself, which is what I thought would help. But actually, you know what would help, what helped was accepting myself and learning how to love me the way I am and be just like towards myself, like towards a baby who is scared because all this lashing out, all this reactivity, all these emotions, that is just a reaction of a scared little fucking kid, whatever, inside of me. Doesn't matter. I don't want to go into these uh analytics, but I want to say if you feel like you're a bad person because of your emotions and Buktai snoring again. If you feel like you're too emotional and it's horrible and you're burdened, think again. Like, would you see a little five-year-old child who is crying, who is like you know, being angry, would you see that kid as a bad kid? What would you do if you saw such a child? Like you would just come and you would soothe that kid. You would hug it, you would be like, it's okay. You wouldn't see like this kind of horror child in the middle of a hallway with a knife and a fire in one hand and you know, and a gun, and like no. You would still see the little innocent thing inside the core self of a child. You just hug it. And I think that's what I started to do with myself, and everything changed. Coming back, why I'm talking about 360 of my labyrinth coming back out in this labyrinth into your room with of one to pick, is that you told me you didn't see me as bad or something like that. I don't remember. But the point was that I started this podcast because I wanted to speak about these exact things that I have been going through. This is just like a recent past, yeah. But I think many girls can resonate when they have this kind of emotional energy in them, and they can feel guilty or as a bad person or feel guilt, but you know, your true core self inside doesn't depend on these emotions. That is not who you are. You are not your emotions, you are not your reactions, you are not your body, you are not your thoughts, you are not your mind. And the sooner you connect with your core self, the sooner you will not judge yourself based on how you feel or your output or what you do or how you behave. You know, these things are ever-changing and they pass. But who you are stays, and you are not a bad person, and you are not the most horrible, hurtful bitch in the world, as you maybe see yourself as. You're not, you're actually really loving, you just don't know probably how to communicate all of that that is in your head and heart and body. But it's possible, and thank you, baby, because you have been there for me and you stayed, and you waited, and you stayed steady and you were there for me until I learned this. So, thank you for listening to my monologue of Labyrinth of Emotions because I think maybe one of the girls who listens will be happy that she heard it, or not. In that case, just you know, rewind it. I don't know. Can a boy be emotional?

SPEAKER_00 30:30

Everybody is having emotions regardless of the gender.

SPEAKER_03 30:35

Well, yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

But I think that the most important thing of all is to say that there is no good or bad. Yes. I think that's the first thing. Like whatever you see, whatever you feel, whatever you go through, it's just our ego, it's just our mind that is telling that this is good and this is wanted, and this is bad, and this is not wanted, but the things are the way they are, and they're neutral. However, you know, you are behaving, it's not bad. There's not bad. Like the only thing that you can do in a quote-unquote wrong wrong way is to behave in a way that you are hurting yourself, you are hurting others, and in the end of the day, you are hurting just yourself. Yeah. Because we are all one, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:29

So yeah, you know, it was hurting me so much when I was hurting you, and when I saw you sad, dude. It it was like fuck. But you know what's funny? Sometimes I remember. Remember once I told you the moment you start shouting, I calm down.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

Yes, and I think I know why is that.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

Because that's what I was used to.

SPEAKER_00 31:59

No. So it's because when you do that from love, the person feels that love even when you shout. Let that sink in. I think it's too much. I think it's too advanced, but but I I think I understand this. I think I understand this. And it happened maybe I remember once or twice, and it's not it wasn't even my intention, but it just happened.

SPEAKER_03 32:31

You know how I felt in those moments when I made you shout three times in six years? I felt like, oh, he also has emotions and he cares. We're good. I don't even care what you are shouting about, as long as you're shouting means we are on the same page and therefore we're good. But because it was such a mismatch in our energies, I was always the one talking, talking, talking, and then you were just like zoning out, you know, that that used to be your um mechanism or your processing of the thing. Me, I would be like anxious and you would be avoidant if you want to call it in this way, but I don't because I don't think I was avoidant. You were not no, it it it doesn't mean you're avoiding something, it means you shut down and you're just like you know, they just call it this way in like psychology, but let's not label shit because we don't like labels. Oh yeah, so that's what I felt. Like if you finally matched my energy with shouting, I felt safe. I was like, okay, that's good. I really felt relief. Well, look, this podcast is not any mindset coaches talking about relationship. It's not about psychologists or some educated human beings now giving you solutions. No, we're just literally normalizing shit from behind the closed doors that nobody talks about in relationships and inside of the head, the inner monologues, the emotional things that people normally go through. Because that's the only thing we can talk about. Yeah, it's our experience, it's my experience, it's a way that we, you know, it's an evolution, it's a our hero's journey in our relationship. Like we went through so much shit and came out on the other side, and we just are here maybe to give you hope or to give you the light at the end of the tunnel, and maybe to give you this relief and normalize all this shit that nobody talks about. Because yeah, it's so easy to label all this what we talk about as toxic or red flags or oh my god, run for the hills. But you know what? I want to tell you stay. I want to tell you really stay and learn to find peace in the discomfort, because that's the line where you grow. And yes, if it leads to a peaceful breakout where you need to put your foot down and put your um boundary, and you start you your lesson from that relationship was to appreciate to learn to appreciate yourself, yeah, and therefore leave that person, okay then. But if you're leaving just because it's a little slightly uncomfortable and like you know, it's too much or whatever, it's not Instagrammable couple goals relationship, then you know, maybe it's there to like serve your evolution, right? And that's what I believe that the relationships and many relationships lately that are being created, they serve this evolution of those two people. I call it creationship.

SPEAKER_00 35:50

Is that you basically partner up with someone, everything everything serves your evolution, yes, it doesn't matter what kind it's it's just everything that you are coming to contact with in your life, whether it's situation or it's a person, and obviously if it's somebody who you come who is like like more in your life, right? Then obviously there's gonna be more of these things with that person or with that situation. Yeah. But yes, it's the only thing that is quote unquote wanted from you or how you evolve is to accept whatever is happening or however the people behave and anything they do. So if like you don't like that your partner, let's say, drinks every Friday and goes out with the friends, then it's not about them stopping doing that and being with you on Friday at home, but your like role or your like what what like how you evolve is to accept that okay, this is who they are, and it doesn't mean they are a bad person or they are wrong or they should do something else. This is important, like not to judge it, just be okay with that, and just just allow them to do whatever they want to do, and you would be surprised that maybe they're gonna eventually even stop doing that. But first, you need to accept that, and it's with anything or anybody. So I know that for example, my lesson was to accept you, even though you were yelling, even though you were whatever you were, however you we gonna call it. So that was my lesson to just love you the way you are, and and I think that's that's how you move on, that's how you evolve, that's how things change eventually.

SPEAKER_03 37:38

And two things not only by you accepting and loving me the way I was and I am, you showed me that it's possible for me to love and accept myself the way I am.

SPEAKER_00 37:50

When you change yourself, like the people around you start changing as well. Yes, so so yes, or they leave from your life because they no longer, you know, provide that lesson. They can yeah, they somehow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:05

And the second thing I wanted to say is was a beautiful example. The guy, like if your partner what drinks and goes out with friends on Friday and Saturday and leaves you at home. I think what is key in here, and this is maybe practical takeaway from this episode, is by the way, we had no idea what we're gonna talk about, we had no topics set up, we had nothing, and it's just happening, and it's kind of around fighting. What why are you giving me this face? Yeah, so I wanted to say about this guy who drinks on a Friday night, your partner. Maybe it's not about him doing that thing, but I think I would bet like ten dollars or like a hundred dollars on a fact that it's about what you make it mean about yourself. That is the thing that makes you feel probably not good about it. Because let's say, you know, there's Andrea and Emily. Andrea thinks that okay, he goes on Friday night to drink and he doesn't take me with him, so he doesn't care about me. Okay, she starts to make a meaning about herself. This is a thing that doesn't involve her. It it has you can translate it anyhow as you want. And I love you. And so maybe she's like, Well, he doesn't care about me, he should call me, otherwise, it's not gonna work. Maybe he's just like putting other things uh we should, you know, as a priority, and Friday night should be together, we should all be with the friends. Maybe he thinks my friends are not good enough. All these stories she makes, her mind creates about this simple thing that is very neutral. The guy just wants to have fun, whatever. She feels bad about it, okay? And therefore, that's the problem for her. It creates a problem for her. And then Emily is like, hmm, I'm so glad he has his own friends. It's so healthy to have you know your own like group of people you get to connect with. I'm so grateful he has friends because I understand like it would be lonely if he was just with me. So it's great that he has this, and I can, you know, go see my friends, I can go for I don't know, run, or I can just chill the fuck out and do my nails with the silence in the house. And I'm so grateful. So what is step what what is the difference between Emily and Andrea? It's the way what they make the same thing mean. So if you make things mean something that is painful about yourself, maybe the way to accept this thing that you think is not good. So your partner going to get drunk, let's say, on Friday night without you, you just remove the meaning. You don't judge it, you don't make it mean anything, therefore it loses its power. Therefore, you go from resisting that meanings and the things that make you feel bad into acceptance. What if it doesn't mean that? What if it doesn't mean that he doesn't care about me? What if it doesn't mean that he prioritizes everyone else before me? And that I think those are the steps to acceptance and to being you know in a state of non-resistance, non-judgment, and non-attachment. It's a complete neutral approach towards things that can make us feel bad. It's only in removing the story we have about the thing that brings us peace and acceptance. Thank you so much, baby. I saw this was hard for you to listen. I love you.

SPEAKER_00 41:54

I don't know where you get that, but I wanna say that I think this whole thing that you were describing is a very dangerous game because I feel that this whole thing what you said that you are thinking and the story and what you are creating. I think that this entire thing is your ego, and your ego is trying to feed you those stories. But those stories are not you, yeah, and you can never win over your ego, you cannot just argue with that. You cannot be like, no, they are okay, and it will say, No, they hate you, no, but they love me, it's okay. No, they don't, they go, they go away without you. And the ego is very smart, and it will always find exactly the thing that hurts you, and that will it will just drag you down always and everything.

SPEAKER_03 42:48

We never spoke about this.

SPEAKER_00 42:50

There's millions of things we never spoke about, and you mentioned in your in your in your speeches that is that that is actually really hard for me because I see 15 things that I would like to speak about, and I'm so overwhelmed where to start and where to go. But I'm gonna speak about this one now. So so yeah, so I think that first step for me in those situations would be to realize that the they are not the the the the the quote unquote problem, they are not somebody who's hurting you, but you are hurting yourself, yeah. Um because they have nothing to do with that, they go, they have time, they have fun, they come home, everything's okay, they love you, they're not moving out, like there's no problem whatsoever. The only person who has problem is you, right? And why are you having the problem? Because in the end of the day, you also love them, you also next day you're gonna be with them, like whatever it is, it's just you being hurt, right? And why are you being hurt? Because you are listening to those stories of your ego. Yes. So I would say the step number one is not try to win over the ego, but just don't listen to it. Yes, just just don't engage with that. At all, like at all. Like just whatever it says, just just just don't say anything. Just ignore it. Like if you if you look at any person or like if they speak and you don't engage with them, you say nothing, they will stop eventually, right? So it's the same thing with the ego. Like you, like once you start engaging with that, it will create the stories that are gonna be just out of this world and you know exactly what to say to hurt you the most, and to give you the best argument to see how they are fucking assholes, and you are a poor baby that is being home alone. So you just need to not to listen to that, not to engage with that, just let it completely go, and it will shut up. Just just live your life. Like they go out, okay. So I'm gonna watch TV, or I'm gonna go out with my friends, or I'm gonna just whatever there is, do your DIY strikui, how you say that? Knitting, knit, knit, just whatever, you know, just like just live your life, you know. So that's the first thing, right?

SPEAKER_03 45:04

To to to check exactly what I said remove meaning and question the story.

SPEAKER_00 45:09

Yeah, but you don't remove it, you just don't listen to it. Like, how do you remove it?

SPEAKER_03 45:14

Like you just you can be like, okay, how would I feel if this story that he doesn't give a fuck about me wasn't I wouldn't believe it.

SPEAKER_00 45:22

That already means that you are making that story alive. No, you're killing because you are saying this story, but that story, you you can just ignore it, the story, you know.

SPEAKER_03 45:33

You can how do you ignore it? You see it being let go of, and it's gone. And that's the act. The act, the action of letting go of the story is it it can be created, and you do it in a way that you're like, okay, how would I feel if this wasn't true? If the I wouldn't believe this, if this story was just a nonsense that my body, my ego, created, and that's when you already that's when you keep the connect to actually you, your awareness, not the ego or the body, or the mind, and all the story-making machine that your human is.

SPEAKER_01 46:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 46:13

But you that you said that's the first point to not engage with uh with all these things that your body or your mind is feeding you, right? Is there a second step for you? Do you have a second step?

SPEAKER_00 46:28

I guess I lost my thing. Can we take a break?

SPEAKER_03 46:32

We're back after the break where we needed to discuss uh something else, but we're back. So, what's your second point that you wanted to say?

SPEAKER_00 46:44

Yeah, so the second point is to accept the person the way they are and allow them to do whatever they need to do.

SPEAKER_05 46:53

Literally, what we discussed during the break.

SPEAKER_00 46:59

I I don't understand, but I wanna be on this topic, which is about these two people, where the person says, um, I mean the person is triggered because the their partner goes out on Friday, right? And I said that the first thing is to um I'm giving you space so I'm not looking at you so that I don't react.

SPEAKER_03 47:22

Thank you. Please speak about your opinion and your insight when you're done I will start talking.

SPEAKER_00 47:33

I guess I lost it. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 47:37

I'm giving you space.

SPEAKER_00 47:40

I I I lost it, baby. I'm sorry. I don't know what to say.

SPEAKER_03 47:46

So what's the second point you wanted to make?

SPEAKER_00 47:55

It's really hard for me at the moment, so I I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 48:01

You told me to give you space to answer the question.

SPEAKER_00 48:04

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 48:05

And I'm not saying anything anymore. Let's go again. So what's the second point?

SPEAKER_00 48:12

The second point is to accept the other person the way they are, which means to allow them to do what they need to do and not to try to control them and not to try and not to ask them to be in a way that you want them to be and just let them be however they are and love them unconditionally. Does it make sense?

SPEAKER_03 48:39

To me it does. But I think to 99.99 percent percent of people, it would be like, well, but then that's a reason why we're in other match and I don't want to be with them because that's not how I want my husband to act like. I want them to be with me. I want something different than they are, I want them to change.

SPEAKER_00 49:01

Yeah, but that's resistance, that's what we talked about in the last episode. You're resisting something that is whether it's a person or it's a situation. So you either resist that there is a situation which can be let's say you are resist that there is a war in the world, and you know, you just are like, No, I don't want this. Or you resist the person and you say no, I don't want them to be like this. That's resistance. But your role is to accept. Like that's life, that's evolution.

SPEAKER_03 49:34

And then the person could be like, Yeah, well, that's cute, but then I can choose a different person who will not go out on Friday night.

SPEAKER_00 49:42

You can, but you will go through exact same thing over and over forever. You will feel the same emotion. Uh, you will not run away from it even if you move across the entire world.

SPEAKER_03 49:54

How do you know this?

SPEAKER_00 49:58

Hmm.

SPEAKER_03 50:01

What's funny?

SPEAKER_00 50:04

Um I I funny is to answer this question for me.

SPEAKER_03 50:10

Which question?

SPEAKER_00 50:12

This that you just asked.

SPEAKER_03 50:14

How do you know?

SPEAKER_00 50:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 50:15

Why?

SPEAKER_00 50:16

Because I don't really know how to answer it.

SPEAKER_03 50:18

So how why do you say that? Why did you say that?

SPEAKER_00 50:21

Because I believe that. I mean I I would be able to answer the question, but not in a sentence or two. But I would say. Look, I would say that if you really had recorded your entire life, you would find in it this, what I just said. But it's really hard to be aware of every second of your life and to really know and see what's happening. But basically, these are the things, this is the evolution, this is how we evolve. We evolve by accepting, we evolve by just yeah, this. And those things they disappear from your life. Because if you think about something that you needed to went through in the past, something that happened in your past, and um something that you were resisting.

SPEAKER_03 51:19

Because even I'm getting lost in what you're saying.

SPEAKER_00 51:22

Yeah, I can be specific. So let's say about you. Can you name a thing? Can you name a it's your podcast, you're a host, so I'm gonna use you. So I have to do that. Okay, so can you come up like the first thing that comes to your mind? Okay, something that you really didn't want it sometimes in the past, it can be any any time in your 30-something years of your existence. So you had something that you really didn't want it, and then you were like, okay, what the hell? And now it's um it's just part of your life, and you are completely okay with that, and it's just not bothering you anymore. Is there something like that?

SPEAKER_03 52:04

I would say one thing since it's about relationships.

SPEAKER_00 52:07

Okay, is that the first thing that came to your mind?

SPEAKER_03 52:10

It was first, and then so many started to come. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So that's why I got lost in a thought.

SPEAKER_00 52:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 52:16

But the first thing that came up was that I always think.

SPEAKER_00 52:19

Yeah, we just received we're gonna take a chance to mention our sponsor of this podcast. We would like to thank our sponsor, Magnetic Apples Breasts. Because of Magnetic Apples Breasts, did podcast be possible. Yeah, so thank you very much. And we just received an order, and I wanna especially thank Heather from Langhorn PA, Pennsylvania.

SPEAKER_03 52:46

Yeah, Pennsylvania.

SPEAKER_00 52:48

Okay, is it PA? Because I don't want to mess up the but what did she buy? She bought um magnetic leather bracelets in black and white color.

SPEAKER_03 52:58

Oh, thank you, Heather.

SPEAKER_00 52:59

So thank you very much.

SPEAKER_03 53:00

We wish you and your partner a beautiful surprise gift and connection beyond any type of conditional love because yeah, I got lost there. Anyways, so magnetic couples bracelets, we just received order, that's why we remembered. So thank you, Heather.

SPEAKER_00 53:19

And I'm sorry for interrupting you. I mean, it wasn't me who interrupted you, it was Heather and Order. No, thank you. Jesus, and uh and now you can you can continue with your story.

SPEAKER_03 53:33

So, what was the one thing that so with every boyfriend, okay, all of them, all many, many, many, many, many. Every time I would find something I didn't like about them, I would be like, Well, this needs to change, or I will break up with them. Okay, so the kind of ultimatum started in my head. But because I was always choosing unavailable men, which I would know that I can't be with them forever.

SPEAKER_00 53:58

But this, what you just said, is the repeating thing that I said that you can even move across the world and it will keep repeating and it will be there. Okay, so that's why you were quote unquote choosing these available, unavailable men, right? Because you it was repeating, right? You said it happened with every single boyfriend. So it was it happened first time, and your lesson, or like you know, was to accept that they are somehow, right? And you said no and no and no, and you did exactly what you said before that, but I can choose and I can move on and I can go. So you were doing that, but the same thing was coming to you over and over and over, right? And it stopped with you when you accepted the way I am, right? Yes, exactly when I stopped wanting to change you, exactly when I was like, oh the hell, and now you don't want to change me. And and now you don't want to change me, right? Now you're okay with that.

SPEAKER_05 54:57

Now you are changing by yourself, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 55:01

So can you see? So this is the proof, so this is how I know.

SPEAKER_03 55:06

I I don't get the part which you were speaking about that I was choosing what?

SPEAKER_00 55:12

I don't know which part now you mean.

SPEAKER_03 55:13

It's okay. The main thing is that you asked me to say, yeah, uh, what is one thing that kept repeating until I accepted it, yes, and it resolved.

SPEAKER_00 55:23

And your question before was how do I know that it will stop when you accept it? And how do I know it will not stop if you don't accept it? Yes, and this is the proof. Like you literally had boyfriends all over the planet, yes, exactly. Right? So it doesn't matter how much you moved, you always had the same thing. There was a problem and you didn't accept that. Right? And it stopped when you did accept it.

SPEAKER_03 55:51

Oh, you know what's crazy? That actually me feeling like I need to improve and change every single guy I was with, I saw that they're not really good enough, either they were not dressing well, or they were not having good haircut, or they were just not behaving well, or they were not cool enough. I kept that's when I started to attract people who I really couldn't change, and I couldn't be with because they were Muslim or something like that, you know, that it would never work. So it started to even go to the like really in a way where I had to be like, I accepted, like, there's no way I can change everything. I cannot create this person in a way and the illusion I would like them to be. There's literally no way, and then you came along, and I told you some yeah, and then I just had to accept you because it was like I tried so hard, it was killing me, it was really exhausting me. I was trying for you. Remember, I spent so much energy explaining to you, and just like basically from resistance telling you this and this and this. Oh Jesus! How much energy I could like I'm so tired these days, like I think that energy went to you.

SPEAKER_00 57:04

But also, I want to say that this is really again part of the life and part of the evolution, and people and we all need to go through those things, and you cannot you cannot postpone it and you cannot speed it up. It just happens when it happens, and yes, and it like you needed to go through all of those boyfriends and through all of those resistances so you can accept it. Those are not the things you can just be like, okay, I'm accepting everything suddenly. It's a process, it's a process, and uh, if it's not happening, then it's not the time to accept it, even though you are trying and doing your best.

SPEAKER_03 57:41

But trust, but you also cannot force it, but know that the evolution is happening, whether you force it or not, so you might as well fucking relax because it's all happening in your favor. You live in a friendly, loving universe that wants the best for you because you are everything, so of course, you wouldn't want to hurt you through all of this, it's all just a game designed to help you evolve, and these are all just like entertainment options for you to evolve through. And what is life? Baby, it's living, it's living in the extremes and evolution. Oh, yeah, it can change in every single episode.

SPEAKER_00 58:24

You were right, it's not about being right, but it certainly feels good, it feels good to the ego, but we don't want to feed that, so but the ego is like the little pebble.

SPEAKER_03 58:39

It is I actually I tell you guys. I bought one of the best, it is the best teacher, and you know, they all say like kill your ego and stuff. No, you want to love your ego.

SPEAKER_00 58:52

It is dying, actually.

SPEAKER_03 58:54

It is dying every day and you love it, you love it because it's here for you, it's your biggest teacher, and it's your best friend. And I bought a little puppy toy uh of a little golden retriever. Literally, it looks like our Bukta, our dog that is sleeping next to us, and I called him Peppo because my tennis coach, uh Joseph Jojo, he was very critical, and I think I kind of like got that critical, always annoyed, doing everything wrong voice. I got it into my head, and so again, part of the lesson, lifelong lesson that I was born to evolve through and integrate in this lifetime, and so uh I bought this little puppy dog and I called him Jojo, I called him Peppo, which is in Czech Czech language the same name, like Slovak Jojo. And every time my ego or my body starts to give me the thoughts that are not making me my body again not feel good, I'm like, it's okay. And I just pet the little puppy, and I'm like, it's fine, you can bark as much as you want. I still love you, and you're not gonna really change anything. Might as well just chill. We're okay, don't worry, all is good.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:15

Alice, all is good, all is well, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:18

Because you understand it's not you, the ego is not you, and your body is not you, and they are lying to you all the time, and they are they are just yeah. I mean, you know, like many people say listen to your body, and yeah, listen to it when you need to pee. But the body can look at or when you need to or when you need to eat, you know. Yeah, but like even when you need to eat, I think it it it lies sometimes. Yeah, like when it doesn't want to feel emotions, it wants chocolate or when it like you know wants to smoke, but um, but yeah, but I think I I I would be really careful about this because I think that it's actually opposite. I would say that don't listen to your body, just again, just evolution, just not just just yeah, just see.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:01

You know, you need to learn first how to listen to your body, because like you have to go through that belief system that listening to your body so that you can let it go, I think. No? Because how would you if you couldn't listen to it in the first place? Maybe it also has some kind of orchestrated order in which you have to go through it, like black magic, white magic, and then nothing. Okay, you don't want to talk this, but I'm talking to you like this is what we these are the terms we would use because we know them. It doesn't matter. Forget anyone's listening, whatever. Love you guys, thanks. But like you don't really have to think about what you're saying, it's just fucking podcast on public platform for the whole world, just nothing, okay? Yeah, and I just want to say, like, this pepo, I'm just learning to really separate myself, even though it's I'm both I am the matter, my body, and I am the mind or the invisible thing. But like once I learn how to give compassion and love to this puppy that represents my body, then I can give that love and be just absolutely compassionate to this human body we were given. Because we are not it, might as well fucking love it and be grateful. And guess what? Then it will be just happy and it will not, you know, but it will always be like a little child. But you will always be able to give it love that it needs, and then you guys can be friends like you, baby, and me. And even though we bark at each other sometimes, we still love each other.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:40

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:41

Yeah, and that's life every episode, guys, we have some kind of thing. It's really, really, really beautiful training ground for us. Yeah, yeah. Okay, is there something more on the agenda, which we didn't have at all?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:02

No, we did have it, but your first two sentences bring it brought it somewhere else, and then we ended up here.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:10

Yeah, I love that. Yeah, never knowing what we speak about. So we spoke about the sponsor, www, magneticapples bracelets.com. You can rate this podcast on Apple Podcasts, that would really help us, I think. And you know what? Nothing, just let us know what was your fucking light bulb moment, or like the aha moment, or like yeah, did you listen even until now? Just let us know. We wanna know. Okay, we enjoy this. Thank you so much for being here and listening to this casual conversation between Martina and her husband, unofficial husband Tomash, and our dog Buchta sleeping and snoring in the background, and the fridge that is extra loud today in our beautiful accommodation in Vietnam, Hoyan, and yeah. Thank you, baby. I want to ask you what you are living with, but that would be probably another 10 minutes. What are you leaving with?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:16

So funny how you enjoy these questions. And for me, it's it's like really hard because it's a nice close. I have to find something that is so not in my uh consciousness, but that's not how you do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:32

What are you living with? You just connect to your body right now and kind of feel into like how you feel. For example, I'm living with it. It's kind of like you just sense the overall mood. If you guys saw me right now, I'm just like covering everything in a ball.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:53

Sense the overall mood for me is has a different answer as tell me what you are living with. Since the overall mood is for me that my mood is good. Okay, so what I understand what am I leaving with the question? Okay. So you can start.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:11

I'm leaving with living life to the fullest, and in this one hour with you feeling all range of emotions, and that's what I'm here for. So yeah, I'm leaving with full being fully alive. You what came first to your mind? It's not a thinking question. It's more of a sensing feeling question, actually, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:39

The only thing that I sense and feel right now is that my uh underarms or have you called this? Armpits? Armpits are a little bit sweaty.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:48

Good. That's all. That's enough. You're living with sweaty armpits. So no, okay. You wanna say something else?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:59

I don't know. I don't know. I feel like there was not really a point in this podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:09

And with that, beautiful listeners.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:11

And therefore I don't know what I'm leaving with because I feel like there was not some some conclusion of something, or like something that we would solve or finished, or like that that would be a topic that we talked about, or like you know why?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:28

Because something I tell you how I feel. Solving, finishing, and having a point is a logical thing. A mind needs a requirement. I am a logical person. Yes, exactly. And I accept that you are this way. Yes. However, it's my podcast, and basically to a mind, it doesn't make sense because it's done from the heart and it's done from a different source than a mind is that it's not a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:55

It can make sense to mind as well. It can make sense to mind as well.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:59

It can definitely make sense, and I think to someone who's not in it it made sense in many points. Um just not to us because we are in it. We are in this pool of thoughts and topics and things, and we are in it. It feels differently than from the outside looking in, you know? It's like if you're drowning or you're on a wave, right? Surfing, and then someone is filming you, it feels completely different the experience. So so yeah. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:36

Okay. Oh my god, you look so funny right now. You look so funny.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:49

You want to say something else?

SPEAKER_00 1:07:51

Yeah, I guess I'm leaving with some resistance.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:54

Okay, there you go. That's okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:57

It's it's really it's yeah. I think it will it will be there again. Because I didn't I don't think I handled it properly yet. And yet still you want to record every day, even though resistance is your main I mean look, things will trigger you regardless of if you record something or if you just sit in your room or if you're gonna go out or if you are married or if you are single, it doesn't matter. It will happen. It happens all to all of us. I don't want to record, so I go to resistance. But I want to record because it feels good, but at the same time, it's yeah, like it's really hard for me sometimes to talk to you or listen to you. So it there is resistance, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:49

Okay, thank you for answering my question. Guys, thank you so much for listening. Have a beautiful day. Subscribe, like, and comment. Your favorite phrase, baby. It's a fun thing to say when you're a vlogger.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:05

For who?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:06

For the vlogger.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:07

But it was fun to say when it was 2003.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:10

That's why it's fun because I make you angry with it. That's why.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:15

You don't make me angry with it.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:16

Okay. Well, hope you got some point out of this. Hope you got some kind of something that makes sense, and something that brought something to your life. You know? I'm speaking to you who's listening.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:31

Maybe you just like to listen to it instead of sometimes it's just how it makes you feel.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:36

Yeah, sometimes it some podcasts I listen to, maybe I didn't get some practical shit out of it and some one, two, three, four, five, this is how you go boating. But I just felt good listening to it.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:48

But you know, maybe just the fact that we speak about how fucking uncomfortable we feel all the time is something that uh will you know bring peace to somebody who's the point who is also feeling the same and thinks that everybody is just so fucking happy on on Instagram posting how they are in in the in the in the resorts in a in a in the Caribbean with uh with the candlelit dinner speaking about how beautiful life is. Yeah, but that's that's that's just one side, and I think that side's been all over the internet since it exists. And uh, you know, then maybe people can feel like shit because they compare themselves to highlights, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so yeah, that's so yeah. So we also so we speak about the things that are just you know happening to everybody as well, probably even more than those happy moments, but we just wanna like I think like from for me the message or the the whatever for everybody would be that it's okay, all those emotions that you feel, or all those moments when you feel like shit and you resist them, and you feel like you don't want that, and you want something else, and you want things to go this way, not this way, and you just feel like you just wanna fucking throw something out of the window, or somebody, or yourself, you know. Just it's okay. Like it's okay. Yeah, like it's all part of life, and everybody is experiencing exactly the same things as you, it's not just you, and everybody's living Instagram life.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:36

Exactly. Yes, exactly. So it's fine. That's exactly why I said that.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:40

So you don't have to be ashamed of that, you don't have to hide it, and you don't have to act like it doesn't exist or that it's not part of life because it is.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:49

It is part of life.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:50

And it's okay. Yeah, there's nothing bad in it.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:53

I tried so hard and got so far. In the end, it doesn't even matter. And I don't know what's next.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:06

It doesn't matter, but we sending shoutouts to Chester is his name.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:10

Yeah, Chester.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:12

Bye.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:13

Bye.